Parental Guidance

Parental Guidance: The Smurfs 2 and Europa Report

We give you what you need to know about the family-friendliness of this week's new releases.

by | August 2, 2013 | Comments

In Theaters This Week:

The Smurfs 2


Rating: PG, for some rude humor and action.

It would be perfectly appropriate for you to take kids of all ages to this blue-tinted, live-action extravaganza. Beyond the random fart joke, not much happens that seems terribly deserving of a PG rating. But if you truly love them, why would you take them to see this? It’s flat, humorless, repetitive and jam-packed with cringe-inducing Smurf puns. The plot briefly places a few of the Smurfs in peril, as the villainous Gargamel (a straining Hank Azaria) kidnaps Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) to extract her essence and use it to turn unsuspecting fools into his disciples. The humor is slapsticky and sometimes gross but without much inspiration or finesse. My 3 ½-year-old son, who’s been to a lot of movies in his young life, said this is the worst one he’s seen yet. And he’s seen The Oogieloves.

Europa Report


Rating: PG-13, for sci-fi action and peril.

This stripped-down mash-up of found-footage faux documentary and quiet, sci-fi meditation has the traditional structure of a horror flick, with characters being picked off one by one by the dangers that lurk out in the dark, vast beyond. It’s a fictional story inspired by a real-life breakthrough finding, with six of the world’s brightest astronauts traveling to Jupiter’s moon Europa to confirm the existence of water and — more importantly — ocean life. About nine months into their journey, they lose contact with Earth — and that’s when things start getting scary. But the perilous situations they find themselves in are tense without being graphic, and the way people perish is never gory. Europa Report is totally suitable — and very much recommended — for older kids with a curiosity about science.

New On DVD:

G.I. Joe: Retaliation


Rating: PG-13, for combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality and language.

It’s a big, dumb action movie that knows it’s a big, dumb action movie — which, in theory, makes this sequel preferable in some ways to big, dumb action movies that are under that delusion that they’re serious art. This is an astonishingly violent PG-13 movie. There’s an insane amount of gunfire, much of which comes courtesy of Bruce Willis as a retired Joe who cheerily shares the arsenal he’s hidden in his quiet, suburban home. But none of the casualties from all this sophisticated weaponry results in any blood. This being a big-studio blockbuster based on a toy, nothing really matters — even he obliteration of a major world city with the touch of a button.

Tag Cloud

45 Toys docudrama mockumentary WarnerMedia dc psychological thriller SDCC LGBT Animation Black Mirror zombies Western teaser MTV Opinion Year in Review harry potter 2016 TNT green book CBS All Access crossover 2017 Chilling Adventures of Sabrina dceu Holidays Winners Emmy Nominations Comedy Central New York Comic Con Crackle USA Showtime romance Pirates E! Tumblr Sneak Peek anime television Sci-Fi RT History Comics on TV The Witch cinemax Valentine's Day Cosplay TruTV Disney Heroines composers crime PaleyFest Amazon Prime TIFF VICE Warner Bros. Extras unscripted Trailer Certified Fresh cats Pop Martial Arts BBC Rom-Com psycho binge Film Festival Nominations anthology Biopics Hulu YouTube Red FXX medical drama jamie lee curtis Thanksgiving casting comic witnail Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Esquire Kids & Family Creative Arts Emmys biography travel ESPN Adult Swim technology NBC dramedy Pixar based on movie Reality Competition Marathons Calendar cults Masterpiece CBS SundanceTV Pride Month ABC crime drama Video Games finale See It Skip It Paramount Network YA APB MSNBC Sundance Music A&E VH1 Photos Cannes Super Bowl E3 transformers FOX cops Fox News Rocky police drama 24 frames Mindy Kaling Epix GLAAD WGN The CW vampires spinoff Set visit TLC Logo Trophy Talk TCA 2017 discovery richard e. Grant war CMT Character Guide Countdown GIFs CW Seed Syfy Universal 007 Lucasfilm TCM DC Comics TV 2019 Mystery Food Network sports Ellie Kemper Mudbound Lifetime HBO Max Spring TV ITV animated diversity blaxploitation spider-man Apple National Geographic adaptation Song of Ice and Fire IFC Films YouTube Premium Action streaming Bravo Pet Sematary TV Land Country true crime LGBTQ Star Wars Best and Worst BET Winter TV Awards Tour Fall TV TCA justice league First Look supernatural BBC America Interview Amazon Spike Podcast Brie Larson DC streaming service Infographic Nickelodeon DC Universe Vudu politics social media Watching Series GoT crime thriller NYCC Oscars boxoffice Writers Guild of America Ovation talk show 2015 Grammys sequel Fantasy El Rey San Diego Comic-Con Emmys Rocketman Mary Tyler Moore Schedule Shondaland Election Trivia ratings History 20th Century Fox singing competition Women's History Month Mary Poppins Returns Lionsgate Freeform Awards comiccon Walt Disney Pictures Netflix Rock Summer Mary poppins Elton John strong female leads dragons golden globes American Society of Cinematographers PBS miniseries Tomatazos Reality Tarantino Columbia Pictures Chernobyl Premiere Dates Box Office Superheroes Red Carpet Starz period drama Star Trek theme song ABC Family zero dark thirty Musical award winner Marvel 21st Century Fox Anna Paquin Drama DGA historical drama Comedy Comic Book sitcom Dark Horse Comics 2018 nature mutant President MCU science fiction Nat Geo Christmas IFC TBS Horror Shudder aliens Cartoon Network CNN FX Disney Channel RT21 Superheroe SXSW game show Paramount USA Network elevated horror facebook zombie Quiz Musicals robots Spectrum Originals toy story serial killer thriller Ghostbusters festivals Acorn TV political drama X-Men spy thriller Sundance Now OWN Captain marvel AMC The Arrangement hist natural history Britbox Stephen King disaster what to watch Teen adventure HBO Polls and Games Sony Pictures doctor who space cooking DirecTV