Parental Guidance

Parental Guidance: The Smurfs 2 and Europa Report

We give you what you need to know about the family-friendliness of this week's new releases.

by | August 2, 2013 | Comments

In Theaters This Week:

The Smurfs 2


Rating: PG, for some rude humor and action.

It would be perfectly appropriate for you to take kids of all ages to this blue-tinted, live-action extravaganza. Beyond the random fart joke, not much happens that seems terribly deserving of a PG rating. But if you truly love them, why would you take them to see this? It’s flat, humorless, repetitive and jam-packed with cringe-inducing Smurf puns. The plot briefly places a few of the Smurfs in peril, as the villainous Gargamel (a straining Hank Azaria) kidnaps Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) to extract her essence and use it to turn unsuspecting fools into his disciples. The humor is slapsticky and sometimes gross but without much inspiration or finesse. My 3 ½-year-old son, who’s been to a lot of movies in his young life, said this is the worst one he’s seen yet. And he’s seen The Oogieloves.

Europa Report


Rating: PG-13, for sci-fi action and peril.

This stripped-down mash-up of found-footage faux documentary and quiet, sci-fi meditation has the traditional structure of a horror flick, with characters being picked off one by one by the dangers that lurk out in the dark, vast beyond. It’s a fictional story inspired by a real-life breakthrough finding, with six of the world’s brightest astronauts traveling to Jupiter’s moon Europa to confirm the existence of water and — more importantly — ocean life. About nine months into their journey, they lose contact with Earth — and that’s when things start getting scary. But the perilous situations they find themselves in are tense without being graphic, and the way people perish is never gory. Europa Report is totally suitable — and very much recommended — for older kids with a curiosity about science.

New On DVD:

G.I. Joe: Retaliation


Rating: PG-13, for combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality and language.

It’s a big, dumb action movie that knows it’s a big, dumb action movie — which, in theory, makes this sequel preferable in some ways to big, dumb action movies that are under that delusion that they’re serious art. This is an astonishingly violent PG-13 movie. There’s an insane amount of gunfire, much of which comes courtesy of Bruce Willis as a retired Joe who cheerily shares the arsenal he’s hidden in his quiet, suburban home. But none of the casualties from all this sophisticated weaponry results in any blood. This being a big-studio blockbuster based on a toy, nothing really matters — even he obliteration of a major world city with the touch of a button.

Tag Cloud

harry potter Song of Ice and Fire Calendar Disney elevated horror Musicals romance jamie lee curtis sag awards dragons AMC Tomatazos true crime Esquire cancelled dc Mary Poppins Returns Martial Arts President Ghostbusters The Purge Crunchyroll blaxploitation comics Character Guide SundanceTV crime renewed TV shows Spring TV Super Bowl APB Rom-Com Hallmark joker politics batman witnail LGBT medical drama DC Comics TV CBS series MSNBC cartoon Rocky boxoffice CNN historical drama Columbia Pictures serial killer dceu psycho Marathons HBO adventure Kids & Family south america Comics on TV cancelled TV shows sports Turner Vudu movies spider-man National Geographic disaster Black Mirror Tarantino The Witch TIFF Schedule Netflix Masterpiece Marvel Television Chernobyl cooking rotten movies we love crime thriller name the review Star Wars YouTube screenings casting PBS Pixar Apple TV Plus spain The Arrangement game of thrones Nat Geo talk show The Walking Dead Sneak Peek Biopics Lionsgate Chilling Adventures of Sabrina game show Horror Apple Classic Film TNT doctor who Turner Classic Movies zombie cinemax aliens Superheroe Walt Disney Pictures Comedy crime drama Fantasy canceled TV shows Red Carpet christmas movies justice league robots Holiday DC Universe Best and Worst directors Peacock spy thriller Food Network SDCC PaleyFest strong female leads Fall TV Women's History Month San Diego Comic-Con Reality natural history Election Disney+ Disney Plus Sci-Fi Emmys Disney Channel Cosplay A&E Watching Series Musical Cannes Interview 45 TLC free movies 71st Emmy Awards hist Binge Guide Hallmark Christmas movies Disney Plus MCU SXSW Marvel Studios Pride Month period drama technology comic sequel discovery quibi Polls and Games Video Games Reality Competition 2016 independent werewolf X-Men spinoff Lifetime Tubi cults TCA Winter 2020 Winter TV Family BBC Trophy Talk screen actors guild Animation First Look DGA diversity dramedy Set visit CMT CBS All Access Shondaland Sundance Now 2015 FOX science fiction LGBTQ ITV Sony Pictures Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt GIFs docudrama OneApp miniseries See It Skip It Rock Warner Bros. Mary poppins Starz Grammys OWN Sundance TV reboot NYCC Winners The CW FXX tv talk Film Festival MTV Crackle USA Network Trivia Captain marvel ratings 20th Century Fox social media Superheroes Arrowverse ABC Family El Rey TCA Brie Larson Thanksgiving Shudder Valentine's Day golden globes travel Opinion ESPN Ovation Lucasfilm Cartoon Network hispanic toy story Toys Paramount TCA 2017 book 007 Apple TV+ Logo video versus A24 Acorn TV theme song Syfy Sundance History richard e. Grant Academy Awards Star Trek DC streaming service finale First Reviews 21st Century Fox Lifetime Christmas movies WarnerMedia children's TV festivals Music Action Television Academy stand-up comedy RT History what to watch Oscars supernatural breaking bad Emmy Nominations Year in Review DirecTV Mystery Creative Arts Emmys Netflix Christmas movies VH1 WGN Stephen King Pet Sematary blockbuster kids Comedy Central Ellie Kemper mutant 2018 facebook space American Society of Cinematographers Bravo romantic comedy BET FX YA Writers Guild of America 24 frames HBO Max Infographic Disney streaming service Mary Tyler Moore USA Showtime cancelled television Fox News Awards Tour Adult Swim Avengers Christmas sitcom adaptation award winner crossover Discovery Channel transformers anime Freeform Amazon Prime Video E! BBC America TV Land YouTube Red Quiz vampires green book Box Office Epix nature GoT New York Comic Con Heroines Marvel Teen indie anthology Nickelodeon ghosts mockumentary canceled spanish language Tumblr cars cats Extras unscripted Holidays teaser television foreign Western composers Trailer biography zombies Amazon 2017 Dark Horse Comics 2020 Pirates based on movie revenge halloween Film TV renewals Amazon Prime Certified Fresh 2019 Mudbound Premiere Dates cancelled TV series Anna Paquin Spectrum Originals NBC Country GLAAD slashers Rocketman Photos thriller E3 streaming police drama ABC TruTV TCM Baby Yoda Elton John YouTube Premium Spike latino Hulu IFC Pop comiccon Summer binge CW Seed Endgame Awards animated zero dark thirty Comic Book Nominations war Paramount Network TBS singing competition VICE IFC Films Britbox RT21 Universal Drama psychological thriller political drama Podcast cops Mindy Kaling Countdown