Parental Guidance

Parental Guidance: The Smurfs 2 and Europa Report

We give you what you need to know about the family-friendliness of this week's new releases.

by | August 2, 2013 | Comments

In Theaters This Week:

The Smurfs 2


Rating: PG, for some rude humor and action.

It would be perfectly appropriate for you to take kids of all ages to this blue-tinted, live-action extravaganza. Beyond the random fart joke, not much happens that seems terribly deserving of a PG rating. But if you truly love them, why would you take them to see this? It’s flat, humorless, repetitive and jam-packed with cringe-inducing Smurf puns. The plot briefly places a few of the Smurfs in peril, as the villainous Gargamel (a straining Hank Azaria) kidnaps Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) to extract her essence and use it to turn unsuspecting fools into his disciples. The humor is slapsticky and sometimes gross but without much inspiration or finesse. My 3 ½-year-old son, who’s been to a lot of movies in his young life, said this is the worst one he’s seen yet. And he’s seen The Oogieloves.

Europa Report


Rating: PG-13, for sci-fi action and peril.

This stripped-down mash-up of found-footage faux documentary and quiet, sci-fi meditation has the traditional structure of a horror flick, with characters being picked off one by one by the dangers that lurk out in the dark, vast beyond. It’s a fictional story inspired by a real-life breakthrough finding, with six of the world’s brightest astronauts traveling to Jupiter’s moon Europa to confirm the existence of water and — more importantly — ocean life. About nine months into their journey, they lose contact with Earth — and that’s when things start getting scary. But the perilous situations they find themselves in are tense without being graphic, and the way people perish is never gory. Europa Report is totally suitable — and very much recommended — for older kids with a curiosity about science.

New On DVD:

G.I. Joe: Retaliation


Rating: PG-13, for combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality and language.

It’s a big, dumb action movie that knows it’s a big, dumb action movie — which, in theory, makes this sequel preferable in some ways to big, dumb action movies that are under that delusion that they’re serious art. This is an astonishingly violent PG-13 movie. There’s an insane amount of gunfire, much of which comes courtesy of Bruce Willis as a retired Joe who cheerily shares the arsenal he’s hidden in his quiet, suburban home. But none of the casualties from all this sophisticated weaponry results in any blood. This being a big-studio blockbuster based on a toy, nothing really matters — even he obliteration of a major world city with the touch of a button.

Tag Cloud

2017 jamie lee curtis Mary poppins festivals Valentine's Day ABC dramedy TBS CMT Cannes Ellie Kemper Podcast Polls and Games Acorn TV Shudder award winner richard e. Grant Countdown cops The Arrangement Comics on TV doctor who Paramount crime drama diversity disaster what to watch Lucasfilm war Captain marvel Heroines E3 Tomatazos National Geographic TLC psychological thriller FXX Amazon Prime politics Oscars technology ESPN Biopics OWN mockumentary Adult Swim Tarantino elevated horror based on movie TCM Election Crackle Martial Arts Black Mirror Year in Review HBO Cartoon Network cinemax sitcom medical drama Trailer Apple 45 Amazon 2016 comic finale Best and Worst ratings The Witch Pirates supernatural Film Festival zombies Reality Showtime thriller USA Spring TV Esquire IFC Hulu IFC Films Emmys TIFF Masterpiece space Rocky President 24 frames Sneak Peek NBC Superheroes Musicals spy thriller Red Carpet Ghostbusters romance Fox News justice league Paramount Network VH1 Sundance YA historical drama Mindy Kaling true crime TV Dark Horse Comics spider-man Starz Fantasy anthology streaming Nat Geo SDCC USA Network Spike binge Cosplay Bravo Winners VICE Anna Paquin Syfy Premiere Dates vampires Grammys Comedy RT21 Columbia Pictures MTV Logo Nominations TruTV cooking docudrama Epix Music X-Men Sundance Now Christmas Food Network MSNBC Certified Fresh FOX PBS boxoffice The CW golden globes Star Trek robots Nickelodeon Quiz DGA Box Office Britbox Awards Tour Comedy Central casting Extras BET Mary Tyler Moore social media 20th Century Fox BBC America strong female leads unscripted DC streaming service blaxploitation Awards political drama Holidays Summer DirecTV Toys Marvel Reality Competition teaser crime thriller Character Guide BBC nature Trophy Talk natural history discovery First Look PaleyFest Super Bowl anime American Society of Cinematographers WGN Interview ABC Family AMC travel sequel talk show New York Comic Con Rocketman San Diego Comic-Con composers GLAAD adaptation Musical facebook Women's History Month Lionsgate 2015 Infographic Tumblr Animation adventure 007 aliens Superheroe Disney Channel Rock El Rey Elton John 2018 transformers GIFs A&E Marathons Vudu Teen Stephen King Rom-Com Mudbound Ovation Western Netflix Calendar Kids & Family Country singing competition DC Comics APB dc Pet Sematary E! DC Universe Action cults History ITV FX Comic Book LGBTQ Schedule SundanceTV Set visit dceu TV Land Opinion period drama NYCC Creative Arts Emmys TCA 2017 police drama CBS All Access Sci-Fi MCU Writers Guild of America Sony Pictures Pixar miniseries biography Brie Larson Freeform Star Wars mutant Spectrum Originals GoT Mystery Disney Winter TV theme song Shondaland Warner Bros. psycho Trivia crime Fall TV crossover Pop Universal Horror science fiction RT History harry potter dragons comiccon Mary Poppins Returns SXSW Drama See It Skip It television CNN Lifetime zombie Photos Watching Series Chilling Adventures of Sabrina TNT hist 2019 CW Seed zero dark thirty witnail green book Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Song of Ice and Fire YouTube Premium YouTube Red Thanksgiving TCA CBS 21st Century Fox cats Video Games serial killer Walt Disney Pictures sports