Parental Guidance

Parental Guidance: The Smurfs 2 and Europa Report

We give you what you need to know about the family-friendliness of this week's new releases.

by | August 2, 2013 | Comments

In Theaters This Week:

The Smurfs 2


Rating: PG, for some rude humor and action.

It would be perfectly appropriate for you to take kids of all ages to this blue-tinted, live-action extravaganza. Beyond the random fart joke, not much happens that seems terribly deserving of a PG rating. But if you truly love them, why would you take them to see this? It’s flat, humorless, repetitive and jam-packed with cringe-inducing Smurf puns. The plot briefly places a few of the Smurfs in peril, as the villainous Gargamel (a straining Hank Azaria) kidnaps Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) to extract her essence and use it to turn unsuspecting fools into his disciples. The humor is slapsticky and sometimes gross but without much inspiration or finesse. My 3 ½-year-old son, who’s been to a lot of movies in his young life, said this is the worst one he’s seen yet. And he’s seen The Oogieloves.

Europa Report


Rating: PG-13, for sci-fi action and peril.

This stripped-down mash-up of found-footage faux documentary and quiet, sci-fi meditation has the traditional structure of a horror flick, with characters being picked off one by one by the dangers that lurk out in the dark, vast beyond. It’s a fictional story inspired by a real-life breakthrough finding, with six of the world’s brightest astronauts traveling to Jupiter’s moon Europa to confirm the existence of water and — more importantly — ocean life. About nine months into their journey, they lose contact with Earth — and that’s when things start getting scary. But the perilous situations they find themselves in are tense without being graphic, and the way people perish is never gory. Europa Report is totally suitable — and very much recommended — for older kids with a curiosity about science.

New On DVD:

G.I. Joe: Retaliation


Rating: PG-13, for combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality and language.

It’s a big, dumb action movie that knows it’s a big, dumb action movie — which, in theory, makes this sequel preferable in some ways to big, dumb action movies that are under that delusion that they’re serious art. This is an astonishingly violent PG-13 movie. There’s an insane amount of gunfire, much of which comes courtesy of Bruce Willis as a retired Joe who cheerily shares the arsenal he’s hidden in his quiet, suburban home. But none of the casualties from all this sophisticated weaponry results in any blood. This being a big-studio blockbuster based on a toy, nothing really matters — even he obliteration of a major world city with the touch of a button.

Tag Cloud

Rocky cinemax superhero foreign Elton John screenings spider-man WarnerMedia Comedy Central Marathons Pirates Crackle YouTube USA Grammys RT21 YA Television Critics Association Discovery Channel cops psychological thriller worst Superheroes concert what to watch FX on Hulu blockbuster Paramount Stephen King cults Family thriller Film Festival BET Awards Premiere Dates LGBTQ spy thriller game of thrones Anna Paquin travel Summer anime RT History spain comedies Avengers rotten Lifetime The Walking Dead Classic Film Masterpiece Amazon Prime Video Musical Comics on TV Black History Month Video Games 21st Century Fox TCM Disney streaming service tv talk stop motion jamie lee curtis Infographic nature Hallmark Christmas movies The Witch Apple TV+ sequel movie American Society of Cinematographers Quiz natural history emmy awards comiccon documentaries Tomatazos disaster BBC America Sony Pictures CBS All Access IFC Biopics parents reviews Pop binge APB golden globes Captain marvel fast and furious Photos diversity children's TV crossover Rocketman New York Comic Con Teen cooking mission: impossible Tumblr Baby Yoda Binge Guide WGN Ghostbusters space ghosts Acorn TV science fiction Women's History Month animated witnail Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt ABC Family First Look indie Hallmark Disney Plus TCA Winter 2020 SDCC franchise TCA 2017 El Rey mutant YouTube Premium Pop TV reboot richard e. Grant The Purge zero dark thirty Film Valentine's Day Hulu ESPN medical drama X-Men OneApp Red Carpet elevated horror Marvel Television BBC One 45 Amazon renewed TV shows Rom-Com Spring TV twilight child's play unscripted Bravo Disney Amazon Prime serial killer Writers Guild of America television Pride Month Vudu police drama halloween Song of Ice and Fire Mystery Tarantino Crunchyroll laika Adult Swim Set visit DC Comics supernatural sag awards mockumentary hispanic Lifetime Christmas movies movies 2019 Television Academy dark HBO Max CW Seed Character Guide Awards Tour quibi Holidays Ovation Amazon Studios MTV TNT Disney Channel satire Western adventure MSNBC Esquire cancelled television Britbox Action classics theme song Winter TV FOX DirecTV The Arrangement E! Tubi award winner Logo Universal films Chilling Adventures of Sabrina CMT Showtime Opinion Drama comics directors period drama GLAAD breaking bad Winners Disney+ Disney Plus blaxploitation Fox News zombies strong female leads VH1 4/20 TV renewals VICE Cannes 20th Century Fox Creative Arts Emmys technology Christmas latino transformers all-time toy story Extras Interview rotten movies we love CBS DC Universe DC streaming service Warner Bros. chucky GIFs facebook talk show series Hear Us Out festivals SundanceTV Awards name the review Apple See It Skip It Sundance Now PBS Rock adaptation Lucasfilm NBC Freeform FXX robots cartoon Walt Disney Pictures TruTV romantic comedy 2020 comic Pixar screen actors guild DGA USA Network canceled Polls and Games psycho Fall TV History indiana jones stand-up comedy spanish language Marvel miniseries kids stoner social media OWN CNN Turner Classic Movies cancelled TV shows romance HBO Spike dramedy Cosplay south america Shudder Box Office Musicals finale Starz Chernobyl critics free movies PlayStation President Trailer A&E HBO Go teaser FX Shondaland Year in Review joker versus 2016 TIFF YouTube Red Martial Arts Nickelodeon Mary Tyler Moore Arrowverse cats hist Sci-Fi National Geographic composers video on demand Election singing competition Nat Geo Peacock revenge crime thriller politics game show 2015 Kids & Family TBS obituary harry potter Holiday historical drama universal monsters Music Trivia docudrama doctor who Pet Sematary political drama zombie SXSW documentary a nightmare on elm street spinoff TV Land 71st Emmy Awards Sundance E3 true crime vampires Syfy video 2018 Horror Netflix Watching Series NYCC Brie Larson dogs crime cancelled TV series Certified Fresh Mudbound Best and Worst based on movie IFC Films Mary poppins biography ABC book LGBT TV dragons 2017 Emmy Nominations 72 Emmy Awards Fantasy ITV cars best Spectrum Originals Nominations Ellie Kemper San Diego Comic-Con sports AMC hollywood dc news Country Funimation aliens PaleyFest Black Mirror Food Network green book Mary Poppins Returns BET Academy Awards The CW Heroines dceu sitcom Schedule Star Wars justice league Turner batman ratings cancelled TCA Awards First Reviews Sneak Peek werewolf Epix Emmys asian-american Toys Apple TV Plus Superheroe Reality casting slashers Thanksgiving Endgame Super Bowl war Mindy Kaling Countdown streaming Dark Horse Comics MCU Cartoon Network Lionsgate Reality Competition canceled TV shows christmas movies Podcast nbcuniversal Paramount Network TLC Netflix Christmas movies GoT anthology Trophy Talk Columbia Pictures Sundance TV scary movies TCA Comic Book BAFTA discovery Marvel Studios Travel Channel A24 Oscars BBC Calendar 24 frames 007 die hard crime drama VOD boxoffice criterion Comedy Animation independent Star Trek