Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: "Silver Surfer" Trips Fantastically, "Nancy Drew" Without a Clue, "DOA" Dead on Arrival

by | June 14, 2007 | Comments

Pop quiz, hotshot: which of the lesser Roberts do you prefer? Because this Friday, it’s a match between Eric Roberts (playing the bad guy in "DOA: Dead or Alive") and Emma Roberts (title star of "Nancy Drew"). Also, there’s some arty movie about people in spandex ("Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer," starring Ioan Gruffudd and Jessica Alba). What do the critics have to say about them?

"Spider-Man" fought the symbiote, the X-Men went through the Phoenix saga, and Batman will soon fight The Joker for the first time (again). Now it’s The Fantastic Four’s turn to go through their most famous story: the Galactus crisis. In "Rise of the Silver Surfer," the molecularly enhanced quartet returns to ward off the planet-gobbling Galactus and his sporty assistant, the Silver Surfer. Critics argue that the exciting bits come only during the beginning and the climatic finale, with everything in-between featuring the same wooden acting and juvenile hijinks that pervaded the first. At 31 percent Tomatometer, "Silver Surfer" does not rise to the occasion.

"’The Shield’ kicks ‘Nip/Tuck”s ass in every way!"

After a long hiatus from the public consciousness, "Nancy Drew" is resurrected in the form of a chipper, sanguine gumshoe in Talbots. Emma Roberts stars as said Nancy, who, with some help from her friends and none from her bewildered classmates, is determined to solve a mystery that’s pickled professional dicks for decades. Though some critics are tickled by "Nancy Drew"’s jokey, laidback attitude, others take offense that the film bears little resemblance to the books, in addition to the thin characters and even-thinner central mystery. At 50 percent Tomatometer, critics are closing the case on "Nancy Drew."

Nancy Drew, borrowing the Duke Lacrosse prosecutor’s trusted handbook.

Video games and summer blockbusters have a lot in common, and the "Dead or Alive" series represents these qualities in spades: it’s repetitive, violent, and features men and women of rather fantastic proportions. I still don’t know what the games are about (I recall fighting a big ugly bird at the end of the second one), but the plot of the "Dead or Alive" movie adaptation involves hardened fighters attending a mysterious tournament run by Julia Roberts‘s brother. While some pundits were more than ready to turn off their brains for the feature, everybody else wasn’t game for the wacky plot, bad acting, or Eric Roberts’s constantly exposed paunch. "DOA" is more dead than alive at 47 percent Tomatometer.

Hot chicks + swords = boxoffice gold!

"The Trials of Darryl Hunt," a harrowing doc chronicling a rape in the American South, is at 100 percent; "Czech Dream," a doc about a grand prank in the Czech Republic, is at 88 percent; "Beyond Hatred," a reflection in documentary form from parents of a murdered 29-year old, is at 83 percent; "Gypsy Caravan," a visually appealing doc about gypsy music, is at 80 percent; "Lights in the Dusk," the latest deadpan-o-rama from Aki Kaurismäki, is at 74 percent; "Fido," a zombie spoof set in the Atomic Age, is at 70 percent (catch our interview with the "Fido" director here); "Golden Door," a lyrical drama recalling the classic Italian directors, is at 64 percent; and "Eagle vs Shark," a darkly twee romantic comedy from New Zealand, is at 47 percent.

"Lights in the Dusk," accurately recreating my last romantic date.

Tag Cloud

Thanksgiving Superheroe serial killer Walt Disney Pictures 2016 Marvel Calendar biography PaleyFest Sony Pictures TLC APB diversity adventure Toys aliens El Rey discovery Grammys Mindy Kaling SDCC ABC binge Britbox 21st Century Fox TIFF CBS All Access festivals Set visit Crackle LGBTQ anthology Star Trek comic Best and Worst Logo Oscars Heroines X-Men Columbia Pictures Quiz boxoffice VH1 Nominations mockumentary Character Guide Summer Food Network Box Office TNT animated Rocky Ovation Shondaland Syfy Adult Swim Hulu streaming New York Comic Con supernatural singing competition GLAAD Action crime docudrama 2018 E3 Reality LGBT Mystery San Diego Comic-Con cults period drama vampires based on movie Amazon Prime Cartoon Network Kids & Family Warner Bros. Shudder Netflix Winter TV elevated horror A&E politics cooking MSNBC GIFs crime drama disaster Sundance Now Spectrum Originals dramedy Comic Book 2019 Showtime Fall TV Anna Paquin The Arrangement Black Mirror BBC Schedule Music Christmas First Look 2017 golden globes Epix President richard e. Grant Amazon Pet Sematary Pirates Starz WarnerMedia Countdown war Trailer spider-man Musicals harry potter Photos Film Festival Esquire psychological thriller Mary Poppins Returns FOX Western TCA Rocketman Emmy Nominations Trivia HBO Max Opinion YouTube Red Interview Teen romance DGA Universal social media technology Creative Arts Emmys Super Bowl award winner teaser Apple AMC HBO Sneak Peek ESPN DC Universe game show green book historical drama composers History Reality Competition space Video Games See It Skip It Valentine's Day TV Year in Review Song of Ice and Fire cops USA Network nature Nat Geo YA comiccon Pixar Spring TV Martial Arts American Society of Cinematographers Watching Series NBC Tarantino Tomatazos Lucasfilm BBC America DirecTV Vudu Animation Lionsgate justice league theme song Ellie Kemper Musical Writers Guild of America RT History Marathons Fantasy finale Premiere Dates witnail Podcast Horror VICE natural history CBS mutant Stephen King Polls and Games Extras Nickelodeon Elton John Comedy Central Superheroes YouTube Premium 24 frames psycho IFC Films CW Seed casting television sitcom dragons DC streaming service TruTV travel OWN Pride Month 007 Fox News sports medical drama Red Carpet sequel Comedy GoT Rock E! Star Wars WGN Comics on TV Bravo dc Disney Mary poppins facebook Brie Larson 2015 miniseries Trophy Talk Paramount DC Comics NYCC Ghostbusters Emmys Rom-Com TV Land true crime Acorn TV Holidays crime thriller National Geographic Mudbound crossover PBS cats Pop Masterpiece toy story Sundance Election Sci-Fi 20th Century Fox BET TBS zero dark thirty SXSW zombie Spike RT21 doctor who hist Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt thriller IFC SundanceTV Women's History Month Awards Tour USA MCU Disney Channel Chernobyl Tumblr science fiction dceu CMT spy thriller jamie lee curtis TCA 2017 The CW unscripted cinemax blaxploitation FXX Captain marvel FX police drama Certified Fresh robots ratings ITV Paramount Network Infographic transformers strong female leads political drama Lifetime Cannes 45 Freeform Mary Tyler Moore what to watch CNN anime adaptation ABC Family Drama talk show Awards Cosplay MTV TCM zombies Country Biopics spinoff Dark Horse Comics Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Winners The Witch