Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: This Film Is "Condemned"; "Next" Vexes; Guess "Invisible," "Kickin' It" Tomatometers!

by | April 26, 2007 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got clairvoyants ("Next," with Nicolas Cage and Julianne Moore), cons ("The Condemned," starring Steve Austin and Vinnie Jones), teen spirits ("The Invisible," starring Justin Chatwin), and breakdancers ("Kickin’ It Old Skool," starring Jamie Kennedy and Bobby Lee). Are the critics feeling it this week?

Another year, another slickly-produced Philip K. Dick adaptation. In "Next," Nicolas Cage stars as a Cassandra-like magician who can see terrible things happening two minutes in the future. (Sorta like "Memento," but the other way around. Or something.) The movie also features Julianne Moore as an FBI agent on his trail attempting to thwart a terrorist plot, and Jessica Biel as the love interest. The critics say the biggest problem with "Next" is that it fails to provide a consistent framework for Cage’s character’s remarkable powers. In addition, it lacks the nuance of source writer Dick’s text and features mediocre performances. At 33 percent on the Tomatometer, you may not want this one to be "Next" on you’re viewing schedule.


"Can you throw on a little ‘Ninth Symphony?’"

In the wrestling ring, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin made for a compelling antihero. In "The Condemned," his first starring vehicle? Not so much, but don’t entirely blame the noted purveyor of the stone cold stunner. Austin stars as a death-row inmate sent to a remote island, where he and nine other prisoners must duke it out on live television for the ultimate prize: freedom. Critics say this retread of "The Most Dangerous Game" and "The Running Man" is undone by its shopworn premise and its message, which is that vicarious, voyeuristic violence is bad (as the film itself traffics in vicarious, voyeuristic violence). At 12 percent on the Tomatometer, this one’s been "Condemned," all right.


Slap fight!

Critics have been kept in the dark with regard to David S. Goyer’s latest, "The Invisible." This tale of a teenager trapped between the living and the dead wasn’t screened for the scribes. In addition, the pundits haven’t been allowed to bust a move with "Kickin’ It Old Skool," the Rip Van Winkle-inspired tale of a breakdancer (Jamie Kennedy) who gets his poppin’ and lockin’ crew together after a 20-year repose. Take a temporary break from listening to Run DMC and guess those Tomatometers.


You’re the best, Jamie Kennedy!

Also opening this week in limited release: "Triad Election," Johnny To’s star-studded Hong Kong gangster flick, is at 88 percent on the Tomatometer; "Diggers," a slice-of-life tale of clam diggers in Maine starring Paul Rudd and Lauren Ambrose, is at 86 percent; "The Short Life of Jose Antonio Gutierrez," a doc about the first soldier killed in Iraq, is at 83 percent; the French thriller "Poison Friends" is at 82 percent; "Snow Cake," a drama about the aftermath of a fatal accident starring Sigourney Weaver and Carrie-Anne Moss, is at 68 percent; "Zoo," an impressionistic doc about bestiality, is at 53 percent; and the Raymond Carver adaptation "Jindabyne," starring Laura Linney and Gabriel Byrne, is at 56 percent.


"Heard any good clam jokes?"

Films Not Screened for Critics in 2007 (Best To Worst Tomatometer Score):
———————————————-
28% — Ghost Rider
24% — The Abandoned
21% — The Hitcher
20% — Dead Silence
16% — Primeval
14% — The Messengers
13% — The Hills Have Eyes 2
11% — Slow Burn
10% — Blood and Chocolate
3% — Epic Movie
0% — Redline

Recent Philip K. Dick Adaptations:
————————————–
66% — A Scanner Darkly (2006)
28% — Paycheck (2003)
92% — Minority Report (2002)
15% — Impostor (2001)
29% — Screamers (1995)

Tag Cloud

comic theme song X-Men children's TV Television Critics Association Schedule Trailer Western marvel cinematic universe best MTV Infographic Turner Mindy Kaling sopranos psycho YA 72 Emmy Awards CMT nature Holiday 007 Character Guide Winter TV book adaptation new star wars movies WarnerMedia elevated horror YouTube Red Drama 2015 MSNBC mockumentary dogs Holidays USA Network spanish YouTube Premium medical drama hidden camera facebook cartoon E3 worst canceled TV shows royal family Nickelodeon twilight discovery Mary Tyler Moore Music finale The Arrangement TV cats TCA Winter 2020 toronto casting Travel Channel rotten festivals gangster deadpool hollywood BET Fall TV Netflix Christmas movies telelvision Trophy Talk saw political drama international Food Network Baby Yoda Teen a nightmare on elm street Sundance TV comic book movies biopic kids Apple TV Plus TCA Extras technology Funimation Christmas CBS ghosts dc SDCC breaking bad Image Comics disaster Writers Guild of America Lifetime Christmas movies The CW Nat Geo social media young adult Set visit concert DC Universe binge crossover OWN 45 VICE vs. cancelled television parents zombie new york HBO Max award winner films crime drama Winners animated Superheroe TNT teaser See It Skip It TV One Hallmark Acorn TV Neflix Tumblr Alien Spectrum Originals hist james bond Universal Pictures romantic comedy superhero The Witch Pop TV Women's History Month monster movies Warner Bros. Starz independent Disney streaming service 1990s Instagram Live renewed TV shows composers razzies Awards Tour Dark Horse Comics Martial Arts Walt Disney Pictures 2018 AMC Action revenge richard e. Grant Cannes Paramount Network Box Office sequels Grammys spinoff Ghostbusters VOD Calendar stoner trailers The Walt Disney Company 73rd Emmy Awards period drama Election comedies streaming APB New York Comic Con batman PlayStation Musicals Tokyo Olympics Columbia Pictures mob Photos sports obituary Chernobyl spider-man zombies Sci-Fi Apple Turner Classic Movies cancelled TV shows NBC olympics Pirates CBS All Access Podcast superman football italian WGN TCA 2017 golden globes heist movie legend miniseries adaptation Showtime kong Reality 24 frames Spring TV ViacomCBS FX on Hulu japan BBC thriller emmy awards chucky Black History Month anthology A24 suspense DGA Marvel Studios dramedy free movies cinemax TIFF critics jamie lee curtis art house Freeform Lifetime Country Arrowverse french reviews scorecard Comics on TV leaderboard politics Universal aapi Awards Cartoon Network DC streaming service Fox Searchlight sitcom GLAAD what to watch Amazon Prime Reality Competition Fox News remakes Esquire BBC One child's play slashers Creative Arts Emmys television President 4/20 comiccon slasher high school Tubi debate dexter Crunchyroll Pixar spain Musical BAFTA Pride Month Star Wars Anna Paquin ID video on demand docudrama space Polls and Games live action canceled comic book movie scene in color FXX south america basketball vampires Comic-Con@Home 2021 Shudder BET Awards Super Bowl screenings TCM Brie Larson diversity CW Seed popular Pet Sematary Sundance 2020 romance dreamworks spy thriller series Video Games archives cancelled latino Horror Britbox Comedy Central based on movie TBS Disney Plus Avengers Prime Video 93rd Oscars ratings Endgame Netflix The Purge Mudbound game show mcc 2016 Mary poppins Mystery black Opinion spanish language FOX sag awards ABC Family HFPA Classic Film nbcuniversal Summer supernatural jurassic park Hear Us Out justice league Kids & Family Film cancelled TV series toy story halloween Captain marvel Peacock king kong cars Superheroes asian-american Tags: Comedy rotten movies we love spider-verse CNN unscripted BBC America 90s Thanksgiving Pacific Islander satire RT History Disney Fargo hispanic heritage month worst movies quibi Epix Academy Awards Oscars witnail green book Countdown transformers dceu classics Nominations Quiz game of thrones women Crackle Adult Swim documentaries GIFs zero dark thirty Lionsgate rt labs critics edition science fiction Valentine's Day Year in Review new zealand japanese australia TruTV Emmy Nominations video robots OneApp boxoffice 79th Golden Globes Awards biography MCU travel criterion Rom-Com target Bravo foreign Mary Poppins Returns comic books The Academy Fantasy pirates of the caribbean ESPN Rocky directors Binge Guide cults American Society of Cinematographers San Diego Comic-Con Syfy cooking blockbuster Toys 20th Century Fox movies Hulu VH1 screen actors guild 2021 TV Land PaleyFest christmas movies FX movie Tomatazos Red Carpet Trivia Rocketman crime thriller news Black Mirror National Geographic know your critic Rock indiana jones blaxploitation Watching Series streaming movies Marvel franchise anime Disney Channel singing competition live event Hallmark Christmas movies doctor who critic resources Heroines Film Festival Certified Fresh Paramount Marvel Television dragons Spike Amazon E! war SXSW Comedy adventure First Reviews Stephen King Biopics Masterpiece 71st Emmy Awards black comedy book PBS laika harry potter Television Academy scary movies TCA Awards Sneak Peek boxing Comic Book Sundance Now lord of the rings Amazon Prime Video fresh posters police drama dark scary Exclusive Video Logo Star Trek feel good trophy Best and Worst stand-up comedy rt archives Marathons ABC Signature Elton John king arthur genre mission: impossible Shondaland History Chilling Adventures of Sabrina blockbusters marvel comics die hard hispanic sequel nfl venice comics Hollywood Foreign Press Association Sony Pictures Cosplay DirecTV action-comedy 21st Century Fox 2017 First Look AMC Plus Pop natural history indie El Rey IFC name the review mutant SundanceTV TV movies joker rom-coms festival The Walking Dead DC Comics documentary 99% true crime Interview reboot TV renewals Discovery Channel serial killer golden globe awards NBA USA stop motion all-time Vudu YouTube prank Wes Anderson HBO Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Ovation kaiju Amazon Studios A&E TLC Song of Ice and Fire Legendary NYCC godzilla Broadway rt labs Tarantino Animation halloween tv adenture strong female leads psychological thriller cops IFC Films historical drama IMDb TV Premiere Dates fast and furious tv talk HBO Go LGBTQ ABC 2019 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards Lucasfilm ITV docuseries werewolf GoT LGBT talk show universal monsters Paramount Plus wonder woman Family Disney+ Disney Plus Ellie Kemper versus Emmys Apple TV+ RT21 aliens crime