Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: This Film Is "Condemned"; "Next" Vexes; Guess "Invisible," "Kickin' It" Tomatometers!

by | April 26, 2007 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got clairvoyants ("Next," with Nicolas Cage and Julianne Moore), cons ("The Condemned," starring Steve Austin and Vinnie Jones), teen spirits ("The Invisible," starring Justin Chatwin), and breakdancers ("Kickin’ It Old Skool," starring Jamie Kennedy and Bobby Lee). Are the critics feeling it this week?

Another year, another slickly-produced Philip K. Dick adaptation. In "Next," Nicolas Cage stars as a Cassandra-like magician who can see terrible things happening two minutes in the future. (Sorta like "Memento," but the other way around. Or something.) The movie also features Julianne Moore as an FBI agent on his trail attempting to thwart a terrorist plot, and Jessica Biel as the love interest. The critics say the biggest problem with "Next" is that it fails to provide a consistent framework for Cage’s character’s remarkable powers. In addition, it lacks the nuance of source writer Dick’s text and features mediocre performances. At 33 percent on the Tomatometer, you may not want this one to be "Next" on you’re viewing schedule.


"Can you throw on a little ‘Ninth Symphony?’"

In the wrestling ring, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin made for a compelling antihero. In "The Condemned," his first starring vehicle? Not so much, but don’t entirely blame the noted purveyor of the stone cold stunner. Austin stars as a death-row inmate sent to a remote island, where he and nine other prisoners must duke it out on live television for the ultimate prize: freedom. Critics say this retread of "The Most Dangerous Game" and "The Running Man" is undone by its shopworn premise and its message, which is that vicarious, voyeuristic violence is bad (as the film itself traffics in vicarious, voyeuristic violence). At 12 percent on the Tomatometer, this one’s been "Condemned," all right.


Slap fight!

Critics have been kept in the dark with regard to David S. Goyer’s latest, "The Invisible." This tale of a teenager trapped between the living and the dead wasn’t screened for the scribes. In addition, the pundits haven’t been allowed to bust a move with "Kickin’ It Old Skool," the Rip Van Winkle-inspired tale of a breakdancer (Jamie Kennedy) who gets his poppin’ and lockin’ crew together after a 20-year repose. Take a temporary break from listening to Run DMC and guess those Tomatometers.


You’re the best, Jamie Kennedy!

Also opening this week in limited release: "Triad Election," Johnny To’s star-studded Hong Kong gangster flick, is at 88 percent on the Tomatometer; "Diggers," a slice-of-life tale of clam diggers in Maine starring Paul Rudd and Lauren Ambrose, is at 86 percent; "The Short Life of Jose Antonio Gutierrez," a doc about the first soldier killed in Iraq, is at 83 percent; the French thriller "Poison Friends" is at 82 percent; "Snow Cake," a drama about the aftermath of a fatal accident starring Sigourney Weaver and Carrie-Anne Moss, is at 68 percent; "Zoo," an impressionistic doc about bestiality, is at 53 percent; and the Raymond Carver adaptation "Jindabyne," starring Laura Linney and Gabriel Byrne, is at 56 percent.


"Heard any good clam jokes?"

Films Not Screened for Critics in 2007 (Best To Worst Tomatometer Score):
———————————————-
28% — Ghost Rider
24% — The Abandoned
21% — The Hitcher
20% — Dead Silence
16% — Primeval
14% — The Messengers
13% — The Hills Have Eyes 2
11% — Slow Burn
10% — Blood and Chocolate
3% — Epic Movie
0% — Redline

Recent Philip K. Dick Adaptations:
————————————–
66% — A Scanner Darkly (2006)
28% — Paycheck (2003)
92% — Minority Report (2002)
15% — Impostor (2001)
29% — Screamers (1995)

Tag Cloud

CW Seed kaiju Awards zero dark thirty television Film Festival National Geographic romance Anna Paquin franchise Trivia finale Watching Series black foreign The Walking Dead richard e. Grant Interview Apple TV Plus Columbia Pictures a nightmare on elm street ABC DirecTV TNT superman justice league Tubi See It Skip It toronto cancelled TV shows RT21 technology Thanksgiving period drama Polls and Games spain Cosplay nature IFC stand-up comedy Star Wars serial killer BBC One mutant Comedy Central transformers french Marvel comiccon Nominations discovery Universal RT History Television Critics Association mission: impossible Tomatazos hollywood doctor who razzies NYCC south america Dark Horse Comics VICE Red Carpet Heroines San Diego Comic-Con Hallmark Music animated popular TV Funimation Bravo screen actors guild versus TCM Amazon adaptation Opinion Spectrum Originals Mary Tyler Moore emmy awards CBS archives E! Amazon Prime Video Pet Sematary movies witnail FX First Look GoT TLC italian Reality Competition Awards Tour directors Black History Month Comic Book zombies Mary poppins El Rey 2016 aliens classics cancelled Sundance game of thrones Mary Poppins Returns Song of Ice and Fire dragons Sundance Now Musical TV One golden globes diversity Premiere Dates BET book FX on Hulu documentaries Fantasy Paramount hispanic ITV critics SDCC quibi DC streaming service comedies nbcuniversal MTV screenings movie Broadway MCU Mudbound Pop football Food Network Endgame spanish language strong female leads Epix boxing Shudder ratings First Reviews Disney Plus Crunchyroll Ghostbusters series ViacomCBS natural history DGA political drama Disney+ Disney Plus japanese Walt Disney Pictures Rock Lucasfilm Netflix Christmas movies Pixar toy story children's TV rt archives best blockbusters trailers latino nfl CNN TBS Syfy CBS All Access Trophy Talk tv talk 93rd Oscars YouTube Premium Logo TCA docudrama crime thriller dogs APB anthology Paramount Network twilight History women satire Calendar Infographic psycho YA The Arrangement Martial Arts Showtime A&E Academy Awards psychological thriller spider-man Captain marvel monster movies films romantic comedy award winner Travel Channel HBO Max Turner Super Bowl binge Brie Larson space obituary science fiction Marvel Television Western 4/20 VH1 Character Guide Disney streaming service docuseries HBO Go anime reviews concert teaser sitcom ABC Signature sports documentary Sony Pictures HBO based on movie OWN ID australia SXSW composers USA Rocketman 007 Lifetime Amazon Prime Election Tumblr chucky 2018 A24 Apple 2015 Rom-Com Lifetime Christmas movies The Witch Stephen King cinemax Film Women's History Month Sundance TV Spring TV laika Photos BBC ABC Family Creative Arts Emmys Disney Channel TCA Winter 2020 Box Office boxoffice supernatural fast and furious rotten movies we love parents pirates of the caribbean Disney President christmas movies ESPN Schedule indiana jones indie Teen video Freeform 71st Emmy Awards video on demand casting Pirates child's play game show worst Horror Avengers WarnerMedia breaking bad Ovation spinoff Certified Fresh Apple TV+ Rocky Spike Video Games rotten Drama book adaptation Fox News miniseries Elton John hist godzilla LGBTQ superhero slashers talk show Pop TV scorecard deadpool Arrowverse telelvision NBC Fox Searchlight james bond AMC TIFF Superheroes venice TV renewals CMT cars Holiday festivals Star Trek fresh Legendary Esquire LGBT comics Quiz TCA 2017 24 frames Writers Guild of America green book robots spy thriller Netflix Comedy Reality Britbox 20th Century Fox mockumentary Vudu independent Acorn TV BBC America historical drama Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Baby Yoda Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt crime thriller Amazon Studios TV Land sequels stoner FXX dark Year in Review USA Network cancelled television prank YouTube Red sag awards kids Masterpiece PBS Hear Us Out dceu halloween cooking heist movie Trailer unscripted comic Shondaland blaxploitation 45 Kids & Family Action sequel free movies Winners criterion singing competition ghosts dc renewed TV shows Ellie Kemper Family Cannes what to watch Pride Month stop motion 2021 Nickelodeon Christmas PaleyFest YouTube 2019 Marvel Studios Starz crossover Countdown worst movies TCA Awards rom-coms Country comic books Hallmark Christmas movies The CW Hulu news Summer war festival true crime 99% Musicals new star wars movies 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards Lionsgate The Walt Disney Company Extras die hard Paramount Plus Holidays Warner Bros. Nat Geo Marathons Superheroe American Society of Cinematographers Best and Worst Tarantino Animation Crackle facebook king kong BAFTA Mystery cults dramedy 21st Century Fox travel Black Mirror Emmy Nominations Toys golden globe awards cats MSNBC reboot Comics on TV canceled SundanceTV Set visit politics Cartoon Network DC Comics police drama social media Oscars 72 Emmy Awards spanish IFC Films Television Academy scary movies medical drama Sci-Fi DC Universe all-time 2020 Sneak Peek streaming GLAAD Binge Guide OneApp elevated horror VOD Grammys zombie Chernobyl Alien hidden camera Classic Film Emmys Podcast halloween tv kong revenge Winter TV werewolf Valentine's Day asian-american batman WGN theme song TruTV cancelled TV series X-Men vampires Turner Classic Movies disaster The Academy Mindy Kaling name the review biography cops Adult Swim GIFs Exclusive Video adventure universal monsters cartoon jamie lee curtis blockbuster Biopics Peacock canceled TV shows FOX E3 BET Awards Discovery Channel Fall TV PlayStation remakes joker New York Comic Con crime drama The Purge harry potter jurassic park 2017