Parental Guidance

Parental Guidance: San Andreas and Aloha

by | May 29, 2015 | Comments

NEW IN THEATERS

San Andreas

49%

Rating: PG-13, for intense disaster action and mayhem throughout, and brief strong language.

Earthquakes ravage the entire state of California — including an historic one that levels San Francisco at 9.6 on the Richter scale, followed by a tsunami — but it’s all played for summer thrills in this CGI-heavy disaster epic. Dwayne Johnson stars as a Los Angeles Fire Department helicopter pilot who commandeers various vehicles to save his estranged wife (Carla Gugino) and their daughter (Alexandra Daddario) from the destruction. It’s like Planes, Trains & Automobiles, with a catastrophic body count. Seriously, millions of people die in this movie. But since it’s rated PG-13, the totality of the carnage gets glossed over. It’s all extremely over the top, but the massive spectacle might frighten younger viewers. Buildings topple, glass rains from the sky, the ground rips open to create giant chasms and the threat of yet another aftershock is constant. There’s also some serious talk between Johnson and Gugino’s characters about the daughter they lost in a drowning accident. Gugino also gets the pleasure of uttering the one well-chosen F-bomb you get with a PG-13 movie. Probably OK for kids around 8 or 9 and older.

Aloha

20%

Rating: PG-13, for some language including suggestive comments.

This star-studded romantic comedy will confuse moviegoers of all ages because it’s been tinkered and re-tinkered with to the point that it no longer makes sense. The latest from writer-director Cameron Crowe feels like several movies at once, crammed together and sped up. Bradley Cooper stars as an ex-military man who returns to his former Air Force base in Hawaii for work as a private contractor. But he also must reconcile his failed romance with the one that got away (Rachel McAdams) while launching into a new fling with an uptight, up-and-coming captain (Emma Stone). There is the implication that some characters have had sex, as well as some mature discussion about the question of paternity. Cooper drops one big F-bomb in casual conversation. I can’t really recommend this movie to anyone, but if you feel compelled to go see it, I guess it’s OK for mature tweens and up.