Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: Chuck is No Good, Sydney White is No Fairy Tale, Eastern Exceeds Promises

Plus, guess Resident Evil Tomatometer!

by | September 20, 2007 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got cursed couples (Good Luck Chuck,
starring Dane Cook and
Jessica Alba), a collegiate Snow White (Sydney White,
starring Amanda Bynes), the London underworld (Eastern Promises, starring
Viggo Mortensen and
Naomi Watts), and post-apocalyptic zombie killing (Resident
Evil: Apocalypse
, starring
Milla Jovovich). What do the critics have to say?

Romantic comedies are often the most difficult films to pull off; you need
palpable chemistry between the leads, inspired jokes, and a delicate sense of
comic timing. Good luck finding those attributes in
Good Luck Chuck
,
critics say. Dane Cook stars as a guy who’s the victim of a curse, one in which
any woman who dates him finds true love — with someone else. Enter Jessica Alba
as a penguin-lover who really digs him. Can she break the curse? Critics say the
movie seems to be under a spell of its own, one in which potential laughs are
squandered by means of rude humor, shopworn slapstick, and an ultimately cheesy
resolution. At seven percent on the Tomatometer, Chuck this one to the
curb.




"Why yes, I am interested in renewing my subscription to
The Atlantic Monthly."

Sydney White, the titular heroine of this Snow White update, might find herself
singing, "Someday, my prince will come." Or perhaps, "Someday, a bunch of
princely movie critics may give my movie a good review."
Sydney White
stars
Amanda Bynes as a college freshman who has to contend with a malicious sorority
queen while whipping a frat of geeks into social shape. While critics agree
Bynes is a talented actress who’s rescued movies in the past, her comic skills
go largely to waste here on a script that functions completely on stereotypes
and does little to plant new twists on the classic
fairy tale. In fact, the scribes say the unsubtle references to Snow White lore
in the movie are jarring and distracting. At 46 percent Tomatometer, Sydney
White
is one poisoned apple.



"Tomatometers that big gotta be fake."

With Eastern Promises,
David Cronenberg continues to utilize genre
trappings for his singular dark, bold vision. Promises stars Viggo
Mortensen as a mysterious yet charismatic Russian hitman whose loyalties are put
into question when he encounters Naomi Watts’s character. Critics praise
Eastern
‘s tight pacing, grisly images that are shocking but short of
exploitation, and Mortensen’s daring performance.  And a fight scene in a
bathhouse between Mortensen and a group of thugs is being touted as one of the most impressive action set piecess in recent memory.  At a
Certified Fresh 86 percent, Cronenberg Promises a good time. (Check out our interview with Cronenberg and Mortensen
here).



"So what makes you qualified to be an American Apparel model?"

Are video game adaptations headed the way of the eggplant wizard? That’s up for debate, but
it appears that the people behind
Resident Evil: Extinction
were
prepared for a critical ice age; what other reason for not screening the movie
before its release? As with the first two Evil flicks, Extinction
stars Milla Jovovich as a zombie killer roaming a post-apocalyptic landscape.
Kids, put down your biology textbooks and Guess that Tomatometer. (Oh, and be
sure to check out our report from the Resident Evil: Extinction set
here).




"Just give me some green herb and no one gets hurt."

Also opening this week in limited release: The Brazilian import
Antonia
,
the gritty story of a group of female rappers overcoming poverty, is at 88
percent; Sean Penn‘s
Into the Wild, starring Emile Hirsch as a young man
who ditches civilization for the wilderness, is at 85 percent;
The
Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
, a revisionist look
at the famed outlaw starring
Brad Pitt and
Casey Affleck, is at 84 percent;
The
Last Winter
, a supernatural/philosophical horror film set in Alaska, is at
80 percent;
Beauty Remains
, a story of
two sisters in love with the same man on the cusp of the Chinese Revolution, is
at 67 percent;
Adrift in Manhattan
, about profound encounters between
strangers in the Big Apple, is at 60 percent;
The Jane Austen Book Club
, a tale of book club members who
find their lives paralleling the text of the great author, is at 58 percent; and

Trade
, a drama about young women sold into sexual slavery, is at 33
percent.




"Now give me some sensibility, with a little pride and/or
prejudice thrown in."


Finally, props to our old buddy
Mizzoucritic, who came the closest to guessing
Dragon
Wars
‘ 25 percent Tomatometer. If you see MC, be sure to spot him for
breakfast at Ron’s Country Boy, the ideal eatery for celebrating a hard-fought
victory.

Recent Viggo Mortensen Movies:
——————————————
87% — A History of Violence (2005)
46% — Hidalgo (2004)
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(2003)
97% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(2002)
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(2001)

Recent Jessica Alba Movies:
———————————–
40% — The Ten (2007)
36% —
The Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer
(2007)
21% — Into the Blue (2005)
26% — Fantastic Four (2005)
77% — Sin City (2005)

Tag Cloud

thriller Apple political drama Marathons halloween mockumentary dragons finale Brie Larson Photos Spring TV 20th Century Fox children's TV renewed TV shows Western teaser Interview versus Amazon Prime blaxploitation slashers breaking bad Opinion game show The Witch Watching Series Turner Classic Movies blockbuster Showtime witnail adaptation Elton John 21st Century Fox PaleyFest 2019 Action spinoff PBS Awards Tour USA Infographic Trivia Disney Plus streaming DC Universe 24 frames canceled TV shows festivals E3 Spectrum Originals harry potter TV Land Hallmark Christmas movies police drama aliens ratings war binge zombie Sony Pictures Disney Channel period drama Comedy Central CNN historical drama elevated horror talk show Calendar See It Skip It Spike latino 007 anime cancelled TV series Tomatazos ESPN green book casting History MCU mutant travel cats Song of Ice and Fire Stephen King ghosts Hulu Turner Comic Book RT21 2015 BBC America Shondaland cooking New York Comic Con toy story Reality Competition Writers Guild of America politics TV USA Network Toys Emmy Nominations Ovation docudrama FX cults disaster Bravo Animation Esquire The Walking Dead Lionsgate true crime spain robots Sundance Now south america Mindy Kaling DirecTV joker ITV WarnerMedia Pop sequel Oscars Best and Worst justice league Vudu Captain marvel Pirates Premiere Dates Superheroe Fall TV 71st Emmy Awards Musicals IFC space Cannes Marvel Television werewolf Box Office MTV game of thrones supernatural The Arrangement video Quiz Sundance E! Hallmark Warner Bros. Logo TV renewals IFC Films YouTube Red Marvel television Horror First Reviews cancelled TV shows TCM Red Carpet TBS christmas movies FXX Creative Arts Emmys Pride Month miniseries discovery independent Dark Horse Comics TLC DC streaming service Britbox Apple TV+ Sneak Peek Emmys indie HBO Freeform Superheroes Comics on TV Biopics Country GIFs social media President Holidays Mudbound kids TNT spider-man cars SundanceTV Women's History Month Lucasfilm cartoon Rocketman Musical 2016 zombies series animated LGBTQ Holiday Reality Podcast ABC Family canceled Paramount Network Video Games WGN CW Seed National Geographic Anna Paquin Awards unscripted Crackle The Purge singing competition dramedy Shudder biography composers comic Film Festival VH1 Trailer TCA OWN Nickelodeon Christmas batman science fiction Music Family Winners Classic Film Extras anthology romantic comedy hist Binge Guide TCA 2017 Amazon Rocky serial killer cops cancelled television Polls and Games cancelled Valentine's Day Chilling Adventures of Sabrina NYCC psycho The CW A&E Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Heroines Ellie Kemper medical drama book Walt Disney Pictures Crunchyroll revenge YouTube comics Columbia Pictures MSNBC rotten movies we love free movies nature Masterpiece Mystery Netflix Christmas movies Nominations Nat Geo Character Guide Rock 2018 Chernobyl TIFF Peacock foreign SDCC Trophy Talk sitcom TruTV theme song VICE dceu Disney+ Disney Plus Tumblr quibi award winner Mary Poppins Returns SXSW sports Disney streaming service Ghostbusters what to watch Star Wars DC Comics Pet Sematary American Society of Cinematographers Schedule adventure 45 FOX X-Men Arrowverse Comedy strong female leads Winter TV Year in Review richard e. Grant Mary poppins romance dc zero dark thirty Apple TV Plus Television Academy Mary Tyler Moore APB CMT Rom-Com spy thriller GLAAD technology Countdown spanish language natural history CBS All Access Marvel Studios facebook CBS Lifetime Christmas movies Disney Black Mirror screenings Amazon Prime Video crime thriller Paramount Fantasy GoT Kids & Family DGA Acorn TV Drama First Look Star Trek NBC hispanic boxoffice Netflix Fox News HBO Max crime drama comiccon Certified Fresh Cartoon Network Thanksgiving A24 Sci-Fi Universal stand-up comedy crossover Set visit Election doctor who ABC Pixar YA San Diego Comic-Con transformers Super Bowl Cosplay Syfy Martial Arts LGBT based on movie jamie lee curtis AMC crime Adult Swim psychological thriller YouTube Premium golden globes Tarantino Film movies 2017 tv talk Food Network Summer BBC El Rey Lifetime cinemax Epix Grammys BET diversity RT History Starz vampires Teen