Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: Chuck is No Good, Sydney White is No Fairy Tale, Eastern Exceeds Promises

Plus, guess Resident Evil Tomatometer!

by | September 20, 2007 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got cursed couples (Good Luck Chuck,
starring Dane Cook and
Jessica Alba), a collegiate Snow White (Sydney White,
starring Amanda Bynes), the London underworld (Eastern Promises, starring
Viggo Mortensen and
Naomi Watts), and post-apocalyptic zombie killing (Resident
Evil: Apocalypse
, starring
Milla Jovovich). What do the critics have to say?

Romantic comedies are often the most difficult films to pull off; you need
palpable chemistry between the leads, inspired jokes, and a delicate sense of
comic timing. Good luck finding those attributes in
Good Luck Chuck
,
critics say. Dane Cook stars as a guy who’s the victim of a curse, one in which
any woman who dates him finds true love — with someone else. Enter Jessica Alba
as a penguin-lover who really digs him. Can she break the curse? Critics say the
movie seems to be under a spell of its own, one in which potential laughs are
squandered by means of rude humor, shopworn slapstick, and an ultimately cheesy
resolution. At seven percent on the Tomatometer, Chuck this one to the
curb.




"Why yes, I am interested in renewing my subscription to
The Atlantic Monthly."

Sydney White, the titular heroine of this Snow White update, might find herself
singing, "Someday, my prince will come." Or perhaps, "Someday, a bunch of
princely movie critics may give my movie a good review."
Sydney White
stars
Amanda Bynes as a college freshman who has to contend with a malicious sorority
queen while whipping a frat of geeks into social shape. While critics agree
Bynes is a talented actress who’s rescued movies in the past, her comic skills
go largely to waste here on a script that functions completely on stereotypes
and does little to plant new twists on the classic
fairy tale. In fact, the scribes say the unsubtle references to Snow White lore
in the movie are jarring and distracting. At 46 percent Tomatometer, Sydney
White
is one poisoned apple.



"Tomatometers that big gotta be fake."

With Eastern Promises,
David Cronenberg continues to utilize genre
trappings for his singular dark, bold vision. Promises stars Viggo
Mortensen as a mysterious yet charismatic Russian hitman whose loyalties are put
into question when he encounters Naomi Watts’s character. Critics praise
Eastern
‘s tight pacing, grisly images that are shocking but short of
exploitation, and Mortensen’s daring performance.  And a fight scene in a
bathhouse between Mortensen and a group of thugs is being touted as one of the most impressive action set piecess in recent memory.  At a
Certified Fresh 86 percent, Cronenberg Promises a good time. (Check out our interview with Cronenberg and Mortensen
here).



"So what makes you qualified to be an American Apparel model?"

Are video game adaptations headed the way of the eggplant wizard? That’s up for debate, but
it appears that the people behind
Resident Evil: Extinction
were
prepared for a critical ice age; what other reason for not screening the movie
before its release? As with the first two Evil flicks, Extinction
stars Milla Jovovich as a zombie killer roaming a post-apocalyptic landscape.
Kids, put down your biology textbooks and Guess that Tomatometer. (Oh, and be
sure to check out our report from the Resident Evil: Extinction set
here).




"Just give me some green herb and no one gets hurt."

Also opening this week in limited release: The Brazilian import
Antonia
,
the gritty story of a group of female rappers overcoming poverty, is at 88
percent; Sean Penn‘s
Into the Wild, starring Emile Hirsch as a young man
who ditches civilization for the wilderness, is at 85 percent;
The
Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
, a revisionist look
at the famed outlaw starring
Brad Pitt and
Casey Affleck, is at 84 percent;
The
Last Winter
, a supernatural/philosophical horror film set in Alaska, is at
80 percent;
Beauty Remains
, a story of
two sisters in love with the same man on the cusp of the Chinese Revolution, is
at 67 percent;
Adrift in Manhattan
, about profound encounters between
strangers in the Big Apple, is at 60 percent;
The Jane Austen Book Club
, a tale of book club members who
find their lives paralleling the text of the great author, is at 58 percent; and

Trade
, a drama about young women sold into sexual slavery, is at 33
percent.




"Now give me some sensibility, with a little pride and/or
prejudice thrown in."


Finally, props to our old buddy
Mizzoucritic, who came the closest to guessing
Dragon
Wars
‘ 25 percent Tomatometer. If you see MC, be sure to spot him for
breakfast at Ron’s Country Boy, the ideal eatery for celebrating a hard-fought
victory.

Recent Viggo Mortensen Movies:
——————————————
87% — A History of Violence (2005)
46% — Hidalgo (2004)
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(2003)
97% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(2002)
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(2001)

Recent Jessica Alba Movies:
———————————–
40% — The Ten (2007)
36% —
The Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer
(2007)
21% — Into the Blue (2005)
26% — Fantastic Four (2005)
77% — Sin City (2005)

Tag Cloud

BBC sports Rom-Com comedies rotten italian 99% Avengers TruTV Film Festival Horror thriller chucky canceled TV shows series Pirates 2016 Black Mirror docuseries President toronto Election Masterpiece critics casting Ovation Spike dark documentaries Columbia Pictures aliens Red Carpet a nightmare on elm street Spring TV telelvision VOD Syfy mutant Legendary Pop TV superhero Ghostbusters adaptation DC Comics CNN PlayStation LGBTQ rom-coms Year in Review Binge Guide DirecTV worst Fantasy video The Academy History Mary Poppins Returns archives SDCC 4/20 Crackle Dark Horse Comics Calendar Elton John Rocketman parents Marathons USA women slashers TCA Awards Adult Swim Star Trek cartoon what to watch cinemax Sci-Fi free movies social media romantic comedy Netflix Christmas movies 007 revenge Shondaland Arrowverse nbcuniversal Starz DC Universe comic books Marvel Television MCU science fiction golden globe awards nfl Opinion Captain marvel blockbusters natural history Western Interview Mindy Kaling jamie lee curtis theme song Nominations facebook supernatural finale godzilla true crime spanish Nat Geo Mudbound Acorn TV See It Skip It Sundance TV Comedy Central book adaptation Alien vampires stand-up comedy Esquire kids The Arrangement MSNBC anime ViacomCBS FX on Hulu werewolf Sony Pictures E3 kong BET Awards Musicals asian-american 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards Paramount Plus composers Chernobyl E! all-time children's TV The Walt Disney Company spanish language Pixar Exclusive Video political drama Trophy Talk biography WarnerMedia zero dark thirty SXSW San Diego Comic-Con BBC One Writers Guild of America sequel PaleyFest richard e. Grant Trivia OWN travel HBO Max christmas movies Black History Month ghosts kaiju 2015 HBO Go Superheroe Christmas spy thriller Apple Holidays psycho space ESPN Cosplay Amazon Prime Video The Witch green book batman Music politics 93rd Oscars spider-man Summer Podcast hollywood Amazon Studios TLC The CW Star Wars Super Bowl cooking DC streaming service game show james bond YouTube Red renewed TV shows cancelled television Action 2021 doctor who deadpool cancelled cats documentary SundanceTV dceu adventure blockbuster award winner X-Men ID Rocky Premiere Dates Reality Competition The Walking Dead mockumentary Extras prank TV One Academy Awards Freeform robots miniseries sequels Tarantino FXX Brie Larson FX crime toy story 72 Emmy Awards YA ratings independent franchise classics TNT Lucasfilm Song of Ice and Fire movies films Travel Channel Universal animated Turner Classic Movies VICE boxing rt archives BAFTA transformers medical drama Trailer witnail fresh Disney+ Disney Plus japanese spain latino stop motion breaking bad die hard blaxploitation HBO Logo cults Polls and Games Bravo joker Baby Yoda zombies Comics on TV australia Watching Series popular Sundance Now Apple TV Plus RT History Women's History Month book binge YouTube Certified Fresh dramedy docudrama Warner Bros. venice Marvel Disney Disney Plus diversity Sundance TIFF Lifetime Christmas movies Television Critics Association razzies CMT worst movies Quiz Television Academy BET name the review RT21 reboot 21st Century Fox GLAAD dc AMC Endgame Cartoon Network The Purge elevated horror scary movies Vudu Reality Anna Paquin indie Video Games comic reviews Discovery Channel CBS All Access 45 south america crime thriller TCA Winter 2020 Showtime Lifetime Martial Arts A&E TV Land Amazon Prime movie National Geographic comiccon festival directors Infographic Hallmark Disney Channel halloween ITV Animation halloween tv Superheroes Ellie Kemper Schedule 20th Century Fox Shudder cancelled TV shows game of thrones hist Broadway Film Fox News OneApp Box Office Emmy Nominations IFC Films MTV Hulu period drama Rock Turner french versus ABC Best and Worst football cancelled TV series Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Thanksgiving TCA 2017 TV crime drama satire sitcom remakes Heroines Winners GoT serial killer nature jurassic park Awards Tour Amazon cops Britbox spinoff Epix First Reviews heist movie Classic Film discovery comics Crunchyroll Food Network Fall TV 71st Emmy Awards emmy awards 24 frames hidden camera unscripted king kong A24 Tomatazos video on demand Valentine's Day rotten movies we love Funimation Countdown BBC America dragons child's play GIFs superman El Rey talk show Musical crossover psychological thriller Walt Disney Pictures IFC Paramount Teen historical drama tv talk Tumblr concert Set visit anthology monster movies fast and furious Mary poppins cars Peacock Drama Biopics Tubi twilight TBS New York Comic Con obituary Pet Sematary based on movie universal monsters Comic Book technology Fox Searchlight dogs justice league golden globes canceled pirates of the caribbean singing competition Creative Arts Emmys YouTube Premium laika police drama Stephen King Paramount Network 2020 First Look Grammys new star wars movies TCM USA Network screenings Family quibi NBC DGA news Comedy Toys Winter TV CW Seed Pride Month VH1 screen actors guild teaser FOX Sneak Peek indiana jones criterion Cannes LGBT Netflix best 2019 Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Photos Spectrum Originals Mary Tyler Moore harry potter Holiday Nickelodeon American Society of Cinematographers Pop Lionsgate TCA streaming Kids & Family Emmys romance hispanic APB PBS NYCC Disney streaming service mission: impossible Hallmark Christmas movies Character Guide WGN war 2018 television stoner Apple TV+ ABC Signature black CBS foreign sag awards ABC Family boxoffice Mystery disaster scorecard festivals Oscars Awards Country strong female leads Marvel Studios 2017 Hear Us Out TV renewals zombie trailers