Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: Chuck is No Good, Sydney White is No Fairy Tale, Eastern Exceeds Promises

Plus, guess Resident Evil Tomatometer!

by | September 20, 2007 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got cursed couples (Good Luck Chuck,
starring Dane Cook and
Jessica Alba), a collegiate Snow White (Sydney White,
starring Amanda Bynes), the London underworld (Eastern Promises, starring
Viggo Mortensen and
Naomi Watts), and post-apocalyptic zombie killing (Resident
Evil: Apocalypse
, starring
Milla Jovovich). What do the critics have to say?

Romantic comedies are often the most difficult films to pull off; you need
palpable chemistry between the leads, inspired jokes, and a delicate sense of
comic timing. Good luck finding those attributes in
Good Luck Chuck
critics say. Dane Cook stars as a guy who’s the victim of a curse, one in which
any woman who dates him finds true love — with someone else. Enter Jessica Alba
as a penguin-lover who really digs him. Can she break the curse? Critics say the
movie seems to be under a spell of its own, one in which potential laughs are
squandered by means of rude humor, shopworn slapstick, and an ultimately cheesy
resolution. At seven percent on the Tomatometer, Chuck this one to the

"Why yes, I am interested in renewing my subscription to
The Atlantic Monthly."

Sydney White, the titular heroine of this Snow White update, might find herself
singing, "Someday, my prince will come." Or perhaps, "Someday, a bunch of
princely movie critics may give my movie a good review."
Sydney White
Amanda Bynes as a college freshman who has to contend with a malicious sorority
queen while whipping a frat of geeks into social shape. While critics agree
Bynes is a talented actress who’s rescued movies in the past, her comic skills
go largely to waste here on a script that functions completely on stereotypes
and does little to plant new twists on the classic
fairy tale. In fact, the scribes say the unsubtle references to Snow White lore
in the movie are jarring and distracting. At 46 percent Tomatometer, Sydney
is one poisoned apple.

"Tomatometers that big gotta be fake."

With Eastern Promises,
David Cronenberg continues to utilize genre
trappings for his singular dark, bold vision. Promises stars Viggo
Mortensen as a mysterious yet charismatic Russian hitman whose loyalties are put
into question when he encounters Naomi Watts’s character. Critics praise
‘s tight pacing, grisly images that are shocking but short of
exploitation, and Mortensen’s daring performance.  And a fight scene in a
bathhouse between Mortensen and a group of thugs is being touted as one of the most impressive action set piecess in recent memory.  At a
Certified Fresh 86 percent, Cronenberg Promises a good time. (Check out our interview with Cronenberg and Mortensen

"So what makes you qualified to be an American Apparel model?"

Are video game adaptations headed the way of the eggplant wizard? That’s up for debate, but
it appears that the people behind
Resident Evil: Extinction
prepared for a critical ice age; what other reason for not screening the movie
before its release? As with the first two Evil flicks, Extinction
stars Milla Jovovich as a zombie killer roaming a post-apocalyptic landscape.
Kids, put down your biology textbooks and Guess that Tomatometer. (Oh, and be
sure to check out our report from the Resident Evil: Extinction set

"Just give me some green herb and no one gets hurt."

Also opening this week in limited release: The Brazilian import
the gritty story of a group of female rappers overcoming poverty, is at 88
percent; Sean Penn‘s
Into the Wild, starring Emile Hirsch as a young man
who ditches civilization for the wilderness, is at 85 percent;
Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
, a revisionist look
at the famed outlaw starring
Brad Pitt and
Casey Affleck, is at 84 percent;
Last Winter
, a supernatural/philosophical horror film set in Alaska, is at
80 percent;
Beauty Remains
, a story of
two sisters in love with the same man on the cusp of the Chinese Revolution, is
at 67 percent;
Adrift in Manhattan
, about profound encounters between
strangers in the Big Apple, is at 60 percent;
The Jane Austen Book Club
, a tale of book club members who
find their lives paralleling the text of the great author, is at 58 percent; and

, a drama about young women sold into sexual slavery, is at 33

"Now give me some sensibility, with a little pride and/or
prejudice thrown in."

Finally, props to our old buddy
Mizzoucritic, who came the closest to guessing
‘ 25 percent Tomatometer. If you see MC, be sure to spot him for
breakfast at Ron’s Country Boy, the ideal eatery for celebrating a hard-fought

Recent Viggo Mortensen Movies:
87% — A History of Violence (2005)
46% — Hidalgo (2004)
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
97% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Recent Jessica Alba Movies:
40% — The Ten (2007)
36% —
The Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer
21% — Into the Blue (2005)
26% — Fantastic Four (2005)
77% — Sin City (2005)

Tag Cloud

spider-man Mary poppins Acorn TV LGBT Grammys Mystery Disney+ Disney Plus TV foreign Trophy Talk See It Skip It biography medical drama Holiday HBO Best and Worst comics Amazon Prime TCA Awards Esquire USA Network Travel Channel vampires HBO Max video Family political drama Watching Series 21st Century Fox CNN psycho X-Men theme song Nominations comedies DC Comics Infographic witnail Brie Larson news BET Awards parents Pixar Cannes Nat Geo Academy Awards space Extras YA 2017 Turner Universal hist critics RT21 ABC Family TruTV Biopics Funimation Spectrum Originals politics Marvel Studios documentary sag awards crime thriller Music YouTube Premium PlayStation true crime Rom-Com SundanceTV dark latino Crunchyroll BAFTA Pop TV FXX 24 frames Showtime jamie lee curtis Valentine's Day batman Interview finale FX on Hulu cooking Lifetime Disney Holidays streaming slashers The Purge 71st Emmy Awards worst Pride Month Kids & Family a nightmare on elm street justice league Song of Ice and Fire Baby Yoda Arrowverse The Arrangement historical drama romance Logo Set visit spy thriller quibi Summer Winter TV comic canceled CBS Winners hollywood Superheroe VOD Nickelodeon cancelled TV series Superheroes Rocketman composers series tv talk casting adaptation Film Columbia Pictures DirecTV Musicals Super Bowl Reality The CW TCA 2017 Captain marvel harry potter movie Elton John Comics on TV Comedy Central zombie HBO Go scary movies A24 Mary Poppins Returns LGBTQ dceu discovery directors Polls and Games 20th Century Fox Video Games cats USA joker Turner Classic Movies robots sitcom award winner FX cancelled TV shows crime drama Action FOX rotten Emmy Nominations The Witch Mary Tyler Moore spinoff 007 screenings cults VH1 elevated horror Fantasy Schedule Starz asian-american Reality Competition MSNBC thriller crime TLC mission: impossible sequel Mindy Kaling WarnerMedia TBS crossover TCA ESPN green book 4/20 Comedy Avengers reboot films Amazon Studios unscripted BBC One criterion Marathons OWN Anna Paquin Binge Guide stop motion Calendar dragons romantic comedy Martial Arts Comic Book ghosts ITV OneApp Year in Review MCU Amazon Prime Video psychological thriller Black Mirror GoT best Chernobyl television Emmys SXSW BET zombies Sci-Fi golden globes Pop Cosplay universal monsters Trivia Sundance Dark Horse Comics Premiere Dates CMT Trailer blaxploitation war twilight talk show Adult Swim boxoffice south america 2020 Film Festival Writers Guild of America TV renewals indie TCA Winter 2020 Lionsgate Box Office Tomatazos docudrama what to watch concert Awards binge Horror AMC festivals richard e. Grant miniseries Britbox History versus natural history Discovery Channel Crackle children's TV Disney streaming service adventure Paramount animated Podcast 72 Emmy Awards TV Land Star Wars revenge DC streaming service Quiz werewolf Food Network The Walking Dead blockbuster WGN E3 nbcuniversal video on demand fast and furious cancelled YouTube classics Cartoon Network Pirates halloween nature Disney Plus technology Marvel Television doctor who ratings Fall TV Netflix Christmas movies sequels IFC E! ABC Red Carpet MTV President Apple TV+ satire cinemax social media Shondaland BBC stand-up comedy spain Masterpiece Television Academy Sneak Peek kids Star Trek DGA Tumblr Apple TV Plus dc Vudu Photos NYCC anthology Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Television Critics Association Hulu book 45 Drama Lifetime Christmas movies Ghostbusters cancelled television GLAAD Peacock transformers police drama screen actors guild Ovation dogs movies laika Hallmark Christmas movies Shudder Western Epix Netflix game show First Reviews supernatural Christmas Amazon TIFF Election breaking bad Animation name the review NBC Lucasfilm Hallmark Awards Tour Rocky National Geographic Countdown mutant superhero Paramount Network reviews rotten movies we love Classic Film Oscars Toys franchise toy story 2018 all-time Creative Arts Emmys Apple based on movie facebook disaster Tubi APB comiccon PBS cops singing competition emmy awards cars Thanksgiving serial killer 2019 Fox News spanish language Black History Month First Look zero dark thirty indiana jones Sony Pictures Disney Channel Opinion Teen Mudbound Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Certified Fresh diversity christmas movies TNT PaleyFest IFC Films period drama aliens Bravo Sundance Now free movies Character Guide American Society of Cinematographers dramedy cartoon hispanic BBC America stoner game of thrones Walt Disney Pictures Freeform canceled TV shows Ellie Kemper Stephen King obituary Musical TCM Rock 2015 Sundance TV documentaries die hard Warner Bros. Country Hear Us Out chucky Spring TV Heroines child's play mockumentary renewed TV shows DC Universe Tarantino VICE independent 2016 science fiction teaser Spike sports SDCC Endgame Syfy RT History GIFs CBS All Access Pet Sematary CW Seed A&E anime Women's History Month travel strong female leads YouTube Red New York Comic Con El Rey Marvel San Diego Comic-Con