Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: Chuck is No Good, Sydney White is No Fairy Tale, Eastern Exceeds Promises

Plus, guess Resident Evil Tomatometer!

by | September 20, 2007 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got cursed couples (Good Luck Chuck,
starring Dane Cook and
Jessica Alba), a collegiate Snow White (Sydney White,
starring Amanda Bynes), the London underworld (Eastern Promises, starring
Viggo Mortensen and
Naomi Watts), and post-apocalyptic zombie killing (Resident
Evil: Apocalypse
, starring
Milla Jovovich). What do the critics have to say?

Romantic comedies are often the most difficult films to pull off; you need
palpable chemistry between the leads, inspired jokes, and a delicate sense of
comic timing. Good luck finding those attributes in
Good Luck Chuck
,
critics say. Dane Cook stars as a guy who’s the victim of a curse, one in which
any woman who dates him finds true love — with someone else. Enter Jessica Alba
as a penguin-lover who really digs him. Can she break the curse? Critics say the
movie seems to be under a spell of its own, one in which potential laughs are
squandered by means of rude humor, shopworn slapstick, and an ultimately cheesy
resolution. At seven percent on the Tomatometer, Chuck this one to the
curb.




"Why yes, I am interested in renewing my subscription to
The Atlantic Monthly."

Sydney White, the titular heroine of this Snow White update, might find herself
singing, "Someday, my prince will come." Or perhaps, "Someday, a bunch of
princely movie critics may give my movie a good review."
Sydney White
stars
Amanda Bynes as a college freshman who has to contend with a malicious sorority
queen while whipping a frat of geeks into social shape. While critics agree
Bynes is a talented actress who’s rescued movies in the past, her comic skills
go largely to waste here on a script that functions completely on stereotypes
and does little to plant new twists on the classic
fairy tale. In fact, the scribes say the unsubtle references to Snow White lore
in the movie are jarring and distracting. At 46 percent Tomatometer, Sydney
White
is one poisoned apple.



"Tomatometers that big gotta be fake."

With Eastern Promises,
David Cronenberg continues to utilize genre
trappings for his singular dark, bold vision. Promises stars Viggo
Mortensen as a mysterious yet charismatic Russian hitman whose loyalties are put
into question when he encounters Naomi Watts’s character. Critics praise
Eastern
‘s tight pacing, grisly images that are shocking but short of
exploitation, and Mortensen’s daring performance.  And a fight scene in a
bathhouse between Mortensen and a group of thugs is being touted as one of the most impressive action set piecess in recent memory.  At a
Certified Fresh 86 percent, Cronenberg Promises a good time. (Check out our interview with Cronenberg and Mortensen
here).



"So what makes you qualified to be an American Apparel model?"

Are video game adaptations headed the way of the eggplant wizard? That’s up for debate, but
it appears that the people behind
Resident Evil: Extinction
were
prepared for a critical ice age; what other reason for not screening the movie
before its release? As with the first two Evil flicks, Extinction
stars Milla Jovovich as a zombie killer roaming a post-apocalyptic landscape.
Kids, put down your biology textbooks and Guess that Tomatometer. (Oh, and be
sure to check out our report from the Resident Evil: Extinction set
here).




"Just give me some green herb and no one gets hurt."

Also opening this week in limited release: The Brazilian import
Antonia
,
the gritty story of a group of female rappers overcoming poverty, is at 88
percent; Sean Penn‘s
Into the Wild, starring Emile Hirsch as a young man
who ditches civilization for the wilderness, is at 85 percent;
The
Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
, a revisionist look
at the famed outlaw starring
Brad Pitt and
Casey Affleck, is at 84 percent;
The
Last Winter
, a supernatural/philosophical horror film set in Alaska, is at
80 percent;
Beauty Remains
, a story of
two sisters in love with the same man on the cusp of the Chinese Revolution, is
at 67 percent;
Adrift in Manhattan
, about profound encounters between
strangers in the Big Apple, is at 60 percent;
The Jane Austen Book Club
, a tale of book club members who
find their lives paralleling the text of the great author, is at 58 percent; and

Trade
, a drama about young women sold into sexual slavery, is at 33
percent.




"Now give me some sensibility, with a little pride and/or
prejudice thrown in."


Finally, props to our old buddy
Mizzoucritic, who came the closest to guessing
Dragon
Wars
‘ 25 percent Tomatometer. If you see MC, be sure to spot him for
breakfast at Ron’s Country Boy, the ideal eatery for celebrating a hard-fought
victory.

Recent Viggo Mortensen Movies:
——————————————
87% — A History of Violence (2005)
46% — Hidalgo (2004)
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(2003)
97% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(2002)
94% —
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(2001)

Recent Jessica Alba Movies:
———————————–
40% — The Ten (2007)
36% —
The Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer
(2007)
21% — Into the Blue (2005)
26% — Fantastic Four (2005)
77% — Sin City (2005)

Tag Cloud

Winter TV Instagram Live marvel cinematic universe emmy awards Alien know your critic mission: impossible Hallmark BBC One YouTube anime vampires live action Heroines Extras leaderboard sitcom Rom-Com best TV One Nat Geo A24 all-time screen actors guild Family Television Academy Trailer films stop motion reviews toy story halloween tv FX Hulu Trophy Talk FX on Hulu nbcuniversal Star Trek feel good jamie lee curtis HBO Max Tokyo Olympics GoT The Arrangement worst movies canceled Image Comics TCA 2017 mockumentary Schedule Marathons 2021 mutant hispanic heritage month jurassic park Chernobyl Horror Holidays satire book adaptation italian spanish language DirecTV breaking bad Ghostbusters women Lionsgate Ovation criterion dragons PlayStation fast and furious justice league anthology TNT legend Sundance Now Paramount Plus trophy PaleyFest rotten latino Thanksgiving new zealand BBC Shudder hidden camera Baby Yoda Disney revenge Rocky harry potter posters The Walt Disney Company Tags: Comedy RT History The Walking Dead art house Action Endgame twilight Premiere Dates MCU zombies Walt Disney Pictures adaptation science fiction superman finale monster movies dreamworks elevated horror tv talk Film Comics on TV indie zombie GIFs football Animation dogs series screenings sequel 93rd Oscars child's play MTV comedies OneApp Adult Swim CW Seed Winners 2015 comic books ID Binge Guide marvel comics cancelled TV shows TV movies biography kids Tarantino docuseries reboot Opinion Black History Month 2020 YA American Society of Cinematographers Neflix 2019 rt labs Hear Us Out Classic Film 71st Emmy Awards Mystery National Geographic historical drama BET Awards critics Marvel Studios festivals crime drama thriller superhero Lifetime universal monsters Black Mirror spider-verse Avengers nfl game show Warner Bros. diversity kong RT21 psychological thriller GLAAD rotten movies we love ESPN Amazon Prime Freeform El Rey chucky Lifetime Christmas movies Video Games children's TV Lucasfilm sports cancelled TV series south america supernatural DC Universe spinoff Comic-Con@Home 2021 aapi Reality Sony Pictures indiana jones Academy Awards VOD 99% Superheroes Amazon Prime Video ratings cults target Crunchyroll CNN franchise Sundance TV medical drama Esquire die hard cancelled Toys classics Valentine's Day black comedy Kids & Family Marvel Television new york Hollywood Foreign Press Association Syfy hist Universal olympics Superheroe werewolf spy thriller IMDb TV Spectrum Originals VICE Countdown serial killer WGN Sci-Fi remakes BAFTA Biopics TruTV scene in color critic resources TIFF disaster Calendar Nominations 24 frames Travel Channel politics HBO See It Skip It comics strong female leads Teen asian-american television action-comedy First Look Musicals crime Fox News social media Brie Larson green book basketball golden globe awards Film Festival boxoffice ghosts singing competition Sundance quibi YouTube Premium Columbia Pictures Interview Acorn TV sag awards mcc miniseries Podcast cooking prank scary Spike Crackle WarnerMedia adventure The Purge comic book movies what to watch dark Turner Masterpiece Logo TCM 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards binge Emmy Nominations free movies period drama Netflix Christmas movies dceu boxing Pop TV Elton John romantic comedy high school Super Bowl psycho young adult 20th Century Fox kaiju concert New York Comic Con discovery stoner saw Peacock FXX rt archives Turner Classic Movies streaming movies X-Men award winner royal family MSNBC Summer comiccon Women's History Month japan Set visit deadpool APB Year in Review fresh Reality Competition FOX ABC Family pirates of the caribbean black Netflix TCA Winter 2020 new star wars movies Food Network Certified Fresh Ellie Kemper natural history SDCC Epix cars The CW Music news Fantasy game of thrones Starz Musical slasher Fall TV king kong Britbox Disney Channel cinemax biopic SXSW telelvision Martial Arts Showtime Writers Guild of America trailers video Mindy Kaling movie cancelled television archives DC streaming service TBS Awards Tour Legendary directors IFC Films Comedy Central witnail Paramount E! renewed TV shows Cartoon Network Television Critics Association streaming aliens 2018 foreign 007 Tubi 79th Golden Globes Awards sequels canceled TV shows Cosplay Polls and Games talk show romance Universal Pictures doctor who international spain TV renewals Amazon ViacomCBS Disney streaming service Apple Vudu TLC BBC America popular james bond theme song Best and Worst 1990s BET Pet Sematary police drama HFPA teaser Watching Series cartoon suspense japanese TV crossover USA Network space slashers Red Carpet Hallmark Christmas movies debate The Witch CBS All Access Pixar Election zero dark thirty transformers hollywood PBS Mudbound halloween book travel blockbuster CBS Comic Book gangster video on demand Nickelodeon Awards documentaries Fox Searchlight Shondaland AMC Plus french batman vs. Funimation TV Land LGBTQ A&E a nightmare on elm street OWN laika Dark Horse Comics Box Office casting sopranos Sneak Peek true crime adenture DC Comics blockbusters rt labs critics edition Pop parents Character Guide Stephen King Rocketman worst Bravo Wes Anderson History ITV Anna Paquin 45 animated NBA ABC Signature based on movie CMT Discovery Channel political drama venice President E3 Pacific Islander HBO Go mob Emmys nature docudrama Fargo Star Wars Country Cannes Amazon Studios Mary Tyler Moore dc unscripted Spring TV YouTube Red scary movies Marvel Rock Quiz NYCC SundanceTV technology DGA Disney+ Disney Plus christmas movies blaxploitation lord of the rings LGBT movies First Reviews documentary Exclusive Video robots comic book movie Apple TV Plus australia Captain marvel wonder woman king arthur godzilla spider-man Mary poppins scorecard live event heist movie Pride Month Infographic ABC Grammys TCA Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt facebook crime thriller Disney Plus 73rd Emmy Awards spanish 72 Emmy Awards Tomatazos rom-coms 2017 Paramount Network Western golden globes AMC TCA Awards Photos Trivia The Academy stand-up comedy 21st Century Fox Broadway cops festival Arrowverse Christmas Mary Poppins Returns war VH1 Creative Arts Emmys hispanic NBC Song of Ice and Fire independent Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Prime Video Pirates 90s San Diego Comic-Con 2016 toronto Oscars Tumblr razzies USA comic Drama Apple TV+ genre Comedy versus dexter 4/20 Holiday richard e. Grant obituary composers cats IFC joker dramedy name the review