"Zoom" is soaring, flying high into the rarified territory where only seven films before it have ventured. The film, which stars Tim Allen and Courteney Cox, is joining an exclusive club — films with more than 20 reviews that have garnered not a single "Fresh" rating from critics. In other words, we’re talking nada, zilch, zero.
Allen is no stranger to the extremes of the Tomatometer; both "Toy Story" movies are at 100 percent, but he also starred in "Christmas with the Kranks," which scored a robust four percent. Likewise, "Zoom" director Peter Hewitt has touched greatness before this misstep (his filmography includes the most righteous "Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey").
That’s right, gang — your chances of escaping from the bottom of the Tomatometer look pretty bleak.
The reviews of "Zoom," which was not screened for critics in advance of its release, run the gamut from the negative (Christy Lemire of the Associated Press says, "It has plenty of energy and visual effects but not a single original idea in its spandex-clad head") to the out-and-out disparaging ("One of the most dismal excuses for family entertainment ever perpetrated by a major studio," raves Maitland McDonagh of TV Guide). And for those of you who tend to ignore those snooty critics, let it be known that "Zoom" also tanked at the box office, raking in only $4.4 million, money that would certainly do Amnesty International a world of good.
"With my latest invention, I’ll magically transform the reviews for ‘Zoom’ into the reviews for ‘X-Men.’"
For those masochists out there who are too busy to watch "The Decalogue," here’s the rest of the zero-percenters for your viewing (dis)pleasure: