Parental Guidance

Parental Guidance: The Smurfs 2 and Europa Report

We give you what you need to know about the family-friendliness of this week's new releases.

by | August 2, 2013 | Comments

In Theaters This Week:

The Smurfs 2


Rating: PG, for some rude humor and action.

It would be perfectly appropriate for you to take kids of all ages to this blue-tinted, live-action extravaganza. Beyond the random fart joke, not much happens that seems terribly deserving of a PG rating. But if you truly love them, why would you take them to see this? It’s flat, humorless, repetitive and jam-packed with cringe-inducing Smurf puns. The plot briefly places a few of the Smurfs in peril, as the villainous Gargamel (a straining Hank Azaria) kidnaps Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) to extract her essence and use it to turn unsuspecting fools into his disciples. The humor is slapsticky and sometimes gross but without much inspiration or finesse. My 3 ½-year-old son, who’s been to a lot of movies in his young life, said this is the worst one he’s seen yet. And he’s seen The Oogieloves.

Europa Report


Rating: PG-13, for sci-fi action and peril.

This stripped-down mash-up of found-footage faux documentary and quiet, sci-fi meditation has the traditional structure of a horror flick, with characters being picked off one by one by the dangers that lurk out in the dark, vast beyond. It’s a fictional story inspired by a real-life breakthrough finding, with six of the world’s brightest astronauts traveling to Jupiter’s moon Europa to confirm the existence of water and — more importantly — ocean life. About nine months into their journey, they lose contact with Earth — and that’s when things start getting scary. But the perilous situations they find themselves in are tense without being graphic, and the way people perish is never gory. Europa Report is totally suitable — and very much recommended — for older kids with a curiosity about science.

New On DVD:

G.I. Joe: Retaliation


Rating: PG-13, for combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality and language.

It’s a big, dumb action movie that knows it’s a big, dumb action movie — which, in theory, makes this sequel preferable in some ways to big, dumb action movies that are under that delusion that they’re serious art. This is an astonishingly violent PG-13 movie. There’s an insane amount of gunfire, much of which comes courtesy of Bruce Willis as a retired Joe who cheerily shares the arsenal he’s hidden in his quiet, suburban home. But none of the casualties from all this sophisticated weaponry results in any blood. This being a big-studio blockbuster based on a toy, nothing really matters — even he obliteration of a major world city with the touch of a button.

Tag Cloud

X-Men aliens LGBTQ FXX TCA 2017 harry potter period drama cinemax Trivia cats Amazon Certified Fresh First Look Star Trek Writers Guild of America crime drama DC streaming service Star Wars diversity Comedy Central BET Music Infographic Video Games Lifetime Esquire TV Land singing competition Creative Arts Emmys Logo Oscars YA 45 unscripted Spike Musicals MTV NBC comiccon OWN Tomatazos Pirates IFC Films Teen History TruTV Adult Swim Nat Geo justice league sports Polls and Games political drama DirecTV based on movie Universal Sneak Peek Drama Winners Paramount Musical supernatural dceu 2016 NYCC Grammys ABC PBS Fantasy Summer Pixar Fall TV Comedy biography Set visit DC Universe A&E RT History APB TCA TCM Superheroes See It Skip It CW Seed Reality Competition 21st Century Fox Warner Bros. ABC Family travel Mindy Kaling Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt 2015 Christmas spy thriller USA Network psycho Lionsgate 24 frames zombie CMT 2017 Countdown Dark Horse Comics politics Calendar VICE FX TLC Podcast Ellie Kemper 20th Century Fox Cartoon Network Nominations Mary Tyler Moore Awards Pop historical drama serial killer IFC SDCC Trailer sitcom TBS dramedy Watching Series Horror transformers Interview TIFF Sci-Fi golden globes TNT Toys Valentine's Day Disney Channel Super Bowl Crackle Masterpiece Freeform CNN Starz composers medical drama Emmys FOX Animation science fiction AMC Tumblr Rom-Com TV 007 Western technology Rocky HBO DC Comics Ghostbusters police drama discovery Spring TV Lucasfilm thriller Martial Arts The Arrangement Hulu social media adventure SundanceTV Sundance Now cults Britbox Mystery ITV Kids & Family Election Rock GIFs President WGN Country boxoffice Best and Worst talk show El Rey vampires The CW Opinion Netflix what to watch Marvel Action GLAAD Schedule Paramount Network GoT BBC Sundance USA crime ratings CBS Photos cops Cosplay Marathons Comic Book Food Network docudrama Showtime Disney cooking Box Office E! VH1 Sony Pictures romance American Society of Cinematographers Character Guide Nickelodeon Extras ESPN Fox News Premiere Dates PaleyFest BBC America Winter TV dc Biopics Red Carpet war Holidays Bravo binge crime thriller Syfy Year in Review Acorn TV CBS All Access MSNBC Thanksgiving E3 Reality