Parental Guidance

Parental Guidance: The Smurfs 2 and Europa Report

We give you what you need to know about the family-friendliness of this week's new releases.

by | August 2, 2013 | Comments

In Theaters This Week:

The Smurfs 2


Rating: PG, for some rude humor and action.

It would be perfectly appropriate for you to take kids of all ages to this blue-tinted, live-action extravaganza. Beyond the random fart joke, not much happens that seems terribly deserving of a PG rating. But if you truly love them, why would you take them to see this? It’s flat, humorless, repetitive and jam-packed with cringe-inducing Smurf puns. The plot briefly places a few of the Smurfs in peril, as the villainous Gargamel (a straining Hank Azaria) kidnaps Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) to extract her essence and use it to turn unsuspecting fools into his disciples. The humor is slapsticky and sometimes gross but without much inspiration or finesse. My 3 ½-year-old son, who’s been to a lot of movies in his young life, said this is the worst one he’s seen yet. And he’s seen The Oogieloves.

Europa Report


Rating: PG-13, for sci-fi action and peril.

This stripped-down mash-up of found-footage faux documentary and quiet, sci-fi meditation has the traditional structure of a horror flick, with characters being picked off one by one by the dangers that lurk out in the dark, vast beyond. It’s a fictional story inspired by a real-life breakthrough finding, with six of the world’s brightest astronauts traveling to Jupiter’s moon Europa to confirm the existence of water and — more importantly — ocean life. About nine months into their journey, they lose contact with Earth — and that’s when things start getting scary. But the perilous situations they find themselves in are tense without being graphic, and the way people perish is never gory. Europa Report is totally suitable — and very much recommended — for older kids with a curiosity about science.

New On DVD:

G.I. Joe: Retaliation


Rating: PG-13, for combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality and language.

It’s a big, dumb action movie that knows it’s a big, dumb action movie — which, in theory, makes this sequel preferable in some ways to big, dumb action movies that are under that delusion that they’re serious art. This is an astonishingly violent PG-13 movie. There’s an insane amount of gunfire, much of which comes courtesy of Bruce Willis as a retired Joe who cheerily shares the arsenal he’s hidden in his quiet, suburban home. But none of the casualties from all this sophisticated weaponry results in any blood. This being a big-studio blockbuster based on a toy, nothing really matters — even he obliteration of a major world city with the touch of a button.

Tag Cloud

BET Holidays adventure Set visit FX Reality Winter TV The Arrangement cinemax Reality Competition Superheroes Logo WGN Watching Series 007 technology Trivia Horror Lionsgate TV singing competition period drama The CW NYCC crime Election MSNBC GIFs CMT TBS USA sports Tomatazos DC Comics Adult Swim 2015 Ellie Kemper TV Land APB Spring TV diversity Premiere Dates biography PBS Mystery Extras Infographic docudrama Disney PaleyFest Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Toys DirecTV Best and Worst Marvel aliens Marathons Animation 2016 Universal Martial Arts politics Mary Tyler Moore thriller dramedy science fiction ITV Winners travel A&E Tumblr TIFF Sci-Fi History GLAAD VICE CNN Interview sitcom Awards SundanceTV boxoffice NBC YA Thanksgiving Sneak Peek Fantasy Kids & Family Fox News Cartoon Network Star Trek OWN Rock RT History Rocky cooking Polls and Games 2017 El Rey Crackle Comic Book crime thriller Hulu supernatural Super Bowl vampires Fall TV TruTV Teen Emmys X-Men based on movie CBS All Access VH1 E! 24 frames TNT American Society of Cinematographers AMC President TLC Drama CBS Musicals Summer Calendar Netflix discovery Music Dark Horse Comics Schedule Bravo Lifetime Rom-Com GoT Showtime LGBTQ police drama TCA 2017 harry potter Year in Review serial killer ABC composers BBC America Mindy Kaling FOX Biopics TCA Esquire Pop TCM Valentine's Day MTV SDCC Nominations FXX Action Oscars Masterpiece Certified Fresh Sundance Video Games Syfy Musical BBC IFC Comedy Country Food Network zombie Comedy Central comiccon ABC Family Podcast Freeform Writers Guild of America Amazon Red Carpet Grammys Cosplay Box Office historical drama Countdown Trailer HBO war Photos crime drama Opinion psycho social media cops Disney Channel ESPN Nickelodeon Ghostbusters Pirates First Look Character Guide Starz Nat Geo Star Wars