Parental Guidance

Parental Guidance: The Smurfs 2 and Europa Report

We give you what you need to know about the family-friendliness of this week's new releases.

by | August 2, 2013 | Comments

In Theaters This Week:



The Smurfs 2

13%

Rating: PG, for some rude humor and action.

It would be perfectly appropriate for you to take kids of all ages to this blue-tinted, live-action extravaganza. Beyond the random fart joke, not much happens that seems terribly deserving of a PG rating. But if you truly love them, why would you take them to see this? It’s flat, humorless, repetitive and jam-packed with cringe-inducing Smurf puns. The plot briefly places a few of the Smurfs in peril, as the villainous Gargamel (a straining Hank Azaria) kidnaps Smurfette (voiced by Katy Perry) to extract her essence and use it to turn unsuspecting fools into his disciples. The humor is slapsticky and sometimes gross but without much inspiration or finesse. My 3 ½-year-old son, who’s been to a lot of movies in his young life, said this is the worst one he’s seen yet. And he’s seen The Oogieloves.



Europa Report

80%

Rating: PG-13, for sci-fi action and peril.

This stripped-down mash-up of found-footage faux documentary and quiet, sci-fi meditation has the traditional structure of a horror flick, with characters being picked off one by one by the dangers that lurk out in the dark, vast beyond. It’s a fictional story inspired by a real-life breakthrough finding, with six of the world’s brightest astronauts traveling to Jupiter’s moon Europa to confirm the existence of water and — more importantly — ocean life. About nine months into their journey, they lose contact with Earth — and that’s when things start getting scary. But the perilous situations they find themselves in are tense without being graphic, and the way people perish is never gory. Europa Report is totally suitable — and very much recommended — for older kids with a curiosity about science.

New On DVD:



G.I. Joe: Retaliation

29%

Rating: PG-13, for combat violence and martial arts action throughout, and for brief sensuality and language.

It’s a big, dumb action movie that knows it’s a big, dumb action movie — which, in theory, makes this sequel preferable in some ways to big, dumb action movies that are under that delusion that they’re serious art. This is an astonishingly violent PG-13 movie. There’s an insane amount of gunfire, much of which comes courtesy of Bruce Willis as a retired Joe who cheerily shares the arsenal he’s hidden in his quiet, suburban home. But none of the casualties from all this sophisticated weaponry results in any blood. This being a big-studio blockbuster based on a toy, nothing really matters — even he obliteration of a major world city with the touch of a button.

Tag Cloud

Pirates Valentine's Day Winners dramedy Schedule DC Comics Writers Guild of America Music Oscars TCM Character Guide OWN discovery GLAAD GIFs Esquire TNT Summer Logo Red Carpet Infographic NYCC VICE Sundance Sci-Fi politics Horror adventure Comedy Central CNN BET Holidays AMC Winter TV A&E Rocky GoT Nominations Crackle Fall TV Ghostbusters Best and Worst 2015 2016 science fiction period drama PBS Martial Arts E! Adult Swim TCA 2017 travel Thanksgiving Polls and Games Certified Fresh Amazon Disney Syfy CBS All Access diversity social media sitcom docudrama IFC Year in Review American Society of Cinematographers Tumblr Nat Geo vampires Animation Fantasy 2017 crime thriller SundanceTV MSNBC Lionsgate Rom-Com Extras Mystery Marvel Action History El Rey cinemax Cartoon Network The CW Biopics Trivia harry potter Cosplay Interview Nickelodeon Drama Reality Competition Calendar Disney Channel Rock 24 frames Election FOX Bravo Awards Tomatazos ABC boxoffice HBO VH1 Grammys thriller Musicals FX Lifetime DirecTV Pop Countdown crime drama Universal ABC Family Masterpiece Sneak Peek Freeform sports Trailer Photos Spring TV Premiere Dates singing competition Star Wars 007 serial killer BBC Kids & Family Country TCA Set visit SDCC PaleyFest Netflix BBC America Exclusive Video Marathons cooking NBC Showtime Toys Comedy TruTV ITV Box Office Podcast LGBTQ MTV CBS President First Look CMT Video Games Reality WGN Hulu Emmys Opinion TV Land TBS Fox News USA FXX Superheroes Watching Series Food Network Starz comiccon ESPN TIFF