It’s a week of threequel DVD
offerings, as a certain green ogre playing daddy (Shrek
the Third) and a group of hipster thieves out for revenge (Ocean’s
Thirteen) hit shelves. But should your tastes venture
to the sublime (Paris
Je T’aime), the syndicated (Gilmore
Girls: The Complete Series), or the Seagal (Urban
Justice), you’ll find there are many more treats to take home.
Tomatometer: 42%
Years from now, when people
look back and ask, “Where did the Shrek series go wrong?” they might finger this
third entry as the culprit. (Shrek
and Shrek 2 are
both Certified Fresh with 89 and 88 percent Tomatometers, respectively.) Critics
accused this sequel, in which the lovable green ogre and his bride welcome their
first bundle of joy, of being overstuffed with the kind of pop culture jabs that
were so fresh and original in the first film; only now, they say, we’re treated
to even more poop and fart jokes. Splendid! But of course, this release is for
the kids, who’ll enjoy a bonus feature full of extras like young Arthur’s high
school yearbook, the “Shrek Smash-up” scene-mixing feature, loads of games,
DVD-ROM content, and a feature that teaches them how to “Learn the Donkey
Dance.”
Tomatometer: 69%
Speaking of weary
franchises,
Steven
Soderbergh‘s second sequel to his hit Ocean’s Eleven remake arrives today
— see it just to be able to say “Finally, it’s done! No more slick-talking,
martini-clinking, wink-wink, too-clever cons, please!” Giving the film a 69
percent on the Tomatometer, critics call
Thirteen —
in which Danny Ocean and Co. pull a revenge heist on none other than Al Pacino
— better than
Twelve, but not as good as
Eleven. We
say it’s what one might call an “airplane movie.” That is, you might not go
out of your way to see it, but if it’s the in-flight film on a plane trip, why
not put on that pair of free earphones, open a bag of complimentary nuts, and
give it a go?
Tomatometer: 75%
American audiences have seen
French actress
Marion
Cotillard before (Love
Me If You Dare,
A Very Long
Engagement, A
Good Year) but now they should really take note; her star turn
here as France’s national treasure Edith Piaf is utterly transformative. The
mid-century songbird nicknamed the Little Sparrow lived an emotional
rollercoaster of a life — abandoned as a child, raised by prostitutes, a
street performer in her youth with ties to the mob — even before launching a
musical career that made her an international star, continually courting
scandal and tragedy until her untimely death at the age of 47.
Tomatometer: N/A
Steven Seagal
IS BACK! And his latest, in which a former special ops agent goes for revenge
against the thugs who killed his son (working title: Once Upon a Time in
the Hood) promises to be so action-packed, so full of streetwise banter,
that the fine folks at Sony Screen Gems have bypassed a theatrical release
altogether. That means, folks, that you don’t have to wait another minute to
add this title to your DVD collection. Did we mention it co-stars badass
character actor
Danny Trejo as a local big man AND
Eddie Griffin
as a crazed mobster (not to mention a fight scene with multiple — multiple,
people — kicks to the groin)?
Paris
Je T’aime
Tomatometer: 84%
This omnibus ode to the City
of Lights melted the chilly hearts of crusty critics on this year’s festival
circuit, and how could it not? The film’s eighteen collected short
meditations, each dedicated to a different Parisian neighborhood, explore the
theme of love as seen through the eyes of 21 of the world’s finest filmmakers.
Berlin
Alexanderplatz
Tomatometer: 100%
Fassbinder. 15 hours. 100 percent. Criterion Collection. Need we say more?
Christmas Time in South Park
Tomatometer: N/A
The holidays are
approaching, which means it’s a perfect time to revisit such South Park
favorites as “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo,” "Merry Christmas Charlie
Manson," and "It’s Christmas in Canada." Remember to eat lots of fiber, kids!
It’s TV Time!
Gilmore Girls: The Complete Collection
Tomatometer: N/A
We could devote an entire
column to why we loved The CW’s (nee The WB’s) Gilmore Girls so hard —
even though it took forever to get over Rory and Jess’ Season Three break up,
and towards the end we couldn’t bear to watch the series wrap itself up — but
suffice to say, this collection is at the top of our holiday wish list. How
could you not love a show that featured rapid-fire mother daughter banter,
small town charm, and appearances by the likes of
Milo Ventimiglia,
Adam Brody,
Sebastian Bach,
Sonic Youth,
Paul Anka,
Norman Mailer,
The Bangles, and Madeleine Albright?
Miami Vice: The Complete Series
Tomatometer: N/A
Crockett and Tubbs worked
the streets of Miami and the wardrobes of the 1980s harder than anyone else
could (that is, until
David Caruso
started dropping one-liners at crime scenes); get all five seasons in one
boss-looking white faux-alligator skin box set today!
Until next week, happy renting!
