Aviator star and perpetual heartthrob Leonardo DiCaprio was assaulted Friday evening when a woman hit him in the head with a beer bottle, causing a cut that required multiple stitches. The actor, currently filming the crime drama "The Departed" with Martin Scorsese, had been attending a Hollywood Hills party thrown by Rick Solomon (Paris Hilton’s infamous ex) when his attacker, in search of an ex-boyfriend, struck him. The blow landed near DiCaprio’s left ear, dangerously close to the Most Beautiful People lister’s beloved puss, surely sending "Titanic"-era fans everywhere into a tizzy.
Also falling victim was Tom Cruise, who suffered the ignominy of getting hit in the face as well — by a water-squirting prank squad. Cruise, on the red carpet at the London premiere of his sci-fi thriller "War of the Worlds," was being interviewed by a British "Punk’d"-esque crew posing as journalists when a fake microphone doused him with water, right in the kisser. The actor, who has undoubtedly taken his fair share of public ribbing of late for his couch-jumping, Scientology-spewing antics, kept considerably cool, asking the offender "Why would you do that?" before growing increasingly agitated. Cruise then offered the soon-to-be classic quote, "You’re a jerk…jerk…you’re a jerk," to the four-man crew, who were subsequently charged with assault.
And finally, hardcore celebriphiles who yearn for the good old days of pitting A-, B-, and C-list stars against each other in a fantasy fight to the death will be glad to hear that MTV’s claymation battle series, "Celebrity Deathmatch," will be brought back to life this fall. The popular series originally ran from 1998 to 2002 and featured such spectacular spectacles as Gene Siskel vs. Roger Ebert, Alfred Hitchcock vs. Steven Spielberg, and Quentin Tarantino vs. Spike Lee (with guest referee Woody Allen). The resurrection of "Celebrity Deathmatch" after a three-year absence is sure to provide some deep-seated catharsis for Hollywood feud-watchers who’ve been without an outlet for fantasy for far too long (Angelina vs. Jen, anyone?).