Sometimes they come back from the dead…again! And sometimes…they never come back at all. That’s what happened to the horror movies in this gallery: they never got the sequel they deserved, so we’re dreaming up our own. You’re welcome, Hollywood!
[Spoiler alert for the whole gallery!]
SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004) Per the slapstick ending, imagine if the zombie trade really became a cottage industry. Celebrity zoos, maybe? Where else will you see zombie Tom Cruise in person?
JAWS (1975) Jaws gets tangled in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch and slowly suffocates over a few weeks. It’s existential horror.
FREDDY VS. JASON (2003) A sequel with Ash from Evil Dead has been long-rumored. Ash and Freddy try to kill each other but become pals as they realize they both have the gift for gab. Jason looks on, wistful and with nothing to say.
MAMA (2013) Mama now has taken Lilly and we are left without knowing what becomes of them together. We want to know. We want our Mama!
DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW (1981) The theme of bullying is such an important one today, that the continuing story of a bully victim’s revenge would have contemporary audiences screaming and shouting. That scarecrow could be a serious horror contender!
MONSTER DOG (1984) The ending allowed for the Monster Dog to possibly remain alive. Which would be great, so we can get more avant-garde Alice Cooper tunes.
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1984) How else will we ever find out if the television stations ran the Silver Shamrock Novelties Halloween mask commercials, destroying anyone who watched? “Eight more days till Halloween, Silver Shamrock!”
FRANKENSTEIN’S ARMY (2013) More Nazi monsters created by a mad scientist merging bodies and electronic appliances together? Bring it! And while you’re at it, maybe bring an army of Nazi-hunting creatures.
FRAILTY (2001) Wouldn’t it be cool if the surviving Meiks boy, with Otis the Axe and God’s List, encountered a similar chosen one from the other side? We imagine “Satan’s List” is chock-full of interesting offenders to battle.
THE LORDS OF SALEM (2012) By the end of The Lords of Salem, Heidi has been reported missing after birthing a creature of the darkness at a Satanic witches’ gathering. Need we say more?
THE BROTHERHOOD OF SATAN (1971) The Brotherhood of Satan started out strong until slow pacing decreased its thrill-value. Even so, the overall story is a solid, if not completely original, satanic cult film. Once the self-sacrificed cult members take over the bodies of children, we then have a new plotline involving murderous Satanic children (who are really seniors) and those that try to stop them.
AUDITION (1999) Asami Yamazaki may be dead, but there are so many creepy audition stories every day that could provide bases for a multitude of further shocking and disgusting tales of horror.
ORCA (1977) The whale survives in the original film, which opens up chances for more Orcan revenge stories. But mainly we just wanna see these majestic creatures do amazing things, at the expense of cruel humans.
ARMY OF DARKNESS (1992) Going off the original AoD ending, audiences would follow Ash around with his boomstick and post-apocalyptic pillow talk…
Which is now officially a thing!
28 WEEKS LATER (2007) After the downer ending, 28 Months Later would depict the global zombie takeover. 28 Years Later would be the year we make contact with space zombies.
ZOMBIELAND (2009) The recent TV pilot had the right idea — with a depopulated America, there’s plenty of stories to tell and celebrities to murder — but failed in execution.
WATCHER IN THE WOODS (1980) This family film introduced some of us to the horror genre as children. Disappearing teen Karen comes back from an alternate dimension in the original, but a sequel could determine if there were any side effects to her mysterious travels.
THE WRAITH (1986) With the all-black and racing helmet look back in, let’s cast Daft Punk as the new avengers from beyond the grave.
THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS (1967) If only because we want to see Sharon Tate to have lived forever…
THE THING (1982) John Carpenter has canonized the 2002 video game, which ended with a mysteriously alive R.J. MacReady saving the day. We’d like to see if that’s the real guy or the alien.
THEY LIVE (1988) A movie for our times: Stone Cold Steve Austin puts on a Google Glass found on the ground and discovers everybody’s an illegal immigrant.
THE STUFF (1985) Larry Cohen’s tongue-in-cheek horror film about parasitic brain-eating ice cream alternative (but come on, it has zero calories!) could readily come back to consume more consumers in delightfully grotesque ways. We already saw a combination of Stuff that is mixed with 88% ice cream so it doesn’t eat quite as much brain-matter. So that’s a starting point.
A SERBIAN FILM/HUMAN CENTIPEDE CROSSOVER We can just taste the potential.
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR (2007) Abuse is cyclical so it wouldn’t surprise us if Meg ends up turning into her own version of Aunt Ruth.
THE BIRDS (1963) The sequel would adopt the same switch-and-bait as the original: Start as a screwball romcom, and just as Channing Tatum and Rhea Perlman are about to kiss…*wham* evil birds!
SLEEPWALKERS (1992) We demand more awesome incestuous cat-like people. Maybe Clive Barker, Stephen King, Joe Dante and John Landis could come back for more cameos.
SAW 3D (2010) The writers had planned to end the series with Saw VIII but low returns on VI forced them to end it at VII (aka Saw 3D). Going with the original plan and having one more movie would’ve give the series a less hasty conclusion.
NIGHTBREED (1990) Nightbreed was a commendable attempt at a new horror brand. We know that protagonist Aaron Boone and his girlfriend Lori are now undead beings searching for a new home for the monsters of Midian, as the serial killer Dr. Decker comes back to life. The possibilities are endless!
