The "People's Choice" is Pure Idiocy

by | January 11, 2006 | Comments

Whenever I share a new Top Ten List or Critic’s Group Nomination list, I’m always extra careful to be fair and respectful of other peoples’ opinions. But after seeing what the "People’s Choice Awards" handed out for 2005’s movies, I just can’t contain myself. It’s simply too hilarious.

According to CNN, "the nominations were determined by editors at Entertainment Weekly, the People’s Choice production team and a panel of pop culture fans. Winners were determined by Internet voting."

So here are the peoples’ choices:

Favorite Female Movie Star: Sandra Bullock
Also nominated: Angelina Jolie & Nicole Kidman

(Ms. Bullock appeared in two films in 2005: the ensemble drama "Crash" and the stunningly awful "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous.")

Favorite Male Movie Star: Johnny Depp
Also nominated: Nicolas Cage & Samuel L. Jackson

(OK, no real complaint here, even if applauding the awesomeness of Johnny Depp has grown a little old-hat by now. JD did have a great ’05 tho, starring in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," "Corpse Bride," and "The Libertine.")

Favorite Leading Lady: Reese Witherspoon
Also nominated: Cameron Diaz & Renee Zellweger

(So does this mean Reese isn’t a "movie star"?)

Favorite Leading Man: Brad Pitt
Also nominated: Jamie Foxx & Adam Sandler

(Just for "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" alone? OK, peoples. Better than the alternatives, anyway.)

Favorite Female Action Star: Jennifer Garner
Also nominated: Angelina Jolie & Catherine Zeta-Jones

(Well this just makes no freakin’ sense at all. The only action movie Ms. Garner appeared in last year was "Elektra," which nobody went to see because it sucked. And yet enough people saw it to make it their "choice.")

Favorite Male Action Star: Matthew McConaughey
Also nominated: Brad Pitt & The Rock

(For "Sahara"? Did nobody SEE the lead actor in "Batman Begins"?)

Favorite On-Screen Matchup: Vince Vaughn & Owen Wilson in "Wedding Crashers"
Also nominated: Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" and Chris Rock & Adam Sandler in "The Longest Yard"

(I’m really glad they said "On-Screen," otherwise I’d assume Vince and Owen are lovers.)

Favorite Movie Comedy: "Wedding Crashers"
Also nominated: "Hitch" & "The Longest Yard"

(Raise your hand if you honestly think "Wedding Crashers" is funnier than "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," which somehow didn’t even earn a nomination.)

Favorite Family Movie: "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"
Also nominated: "Chicken Little" & "Madagascar

(Another decent pick, although "Wallace & Gromit" would have been nominated if the average American didn’t think British films come with subtitles.)

Favorite Movie Drama: "Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith"
Also nominated: "Batman Begins" & "Coach Carter"

Favorite Movie: "Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith"
Also nominated: "Batman Begins" & "Hitch"

(OK, I’ll let ’em get away with the overall movie pick since "Sith" was huge at the box office and I really dug it a whole lot, but … BEST DRAMA??? The "American public" chose Star Wars freakin’ 3 as best drama??? Oh, people. You must stop. Why make the U.S. even more of a global laughing stock? "Brokeback Mountain" is a drama. "Good Night, and Good Luck." is a drama! "Munich," "A History of Violence," "Crash," "Walk the Line," and alllll of THESE MOVIES are dramas. Sorry, but I figure a working knowledge of genre classifications is a minimum requirement if you’re going to vote on any sort of movie poll … even one this painfully silly. Next year they’ll give "BloodRayne" best musical.)

My apologies to the folks on the People’s Choice payroll for my derisive mockery, but c’mon, you guys made it way too easy. And I challenge anyone to explain to me how "Star Wars 3" qualifies as a drama.

Tag Cloud

IFC Films social media USA Network Syfy Calendar travel Masterpiece NBC vampires GoT spy thriller politics SundanceTV Hulu period drama OWN talk show Music PBS police drama USA TNT Super Bowl Awards Interview dc Best and Worst First Look SDCC Reality Competition Set visit Lucasfilm ABC sports Sony Pictures Superheroes Tumblr NYCC FXX Writers Guild of America 2016 Biopics Pop Disney CBS singing competition Thanksgiving historical drama 007 transformers El Rey The Arrangement FOX dceu Pixar Valentine's Day Infographic PaleyFest diversity VICE Crackle TCA 2017 Opinion AMC aliens CW Seed TV Paramount Network Dark Horse Comics History MTV BBC America Trivia cinemax cults Extras Horror Sneak Peek Nickelodeon ABC Family Star Trek Emmys Action unscripted Polls and Games romance Premiere Dates LGBTQ adventure justice league Martial Arts cats RT History Podcast Comedy HBO supernatural Drama harry potter Fall TV YA Sundance Now Lifetime Creative Arts Emmys Year in Review Box Office Rom-Com Cosplay what to watch 24 frames Mary Tyler Moore Sundance ITV 2017 Western 2015 A&E Netflix Character Guide Amazon IFC thriller crime DC streaming service MSNBC DC Universe E3 Country WGN sitcom Summer Spring TV TBS FX Star Wars Ghostbusters Watching Series cops Musicals Showtime Animation Fox News Video Games Starz binge Ellie Kemper Acorn TV Holidays 20th Century Fox political drama Toys American Society of Cinematographers Marathons Lionsgate TLC Election composers CMT Winners 45 biography Pirates 21st Century Fox TruTV boxoffice ratings Certified Fresh Logo Freeform psycho BBC Comic Book GIFs Sci-Fi cooking Comedy Central APB See It Skip It President Adult Swim Teen Oscars Countdown Red Carpet crime thriller zombie comiccon TCM based on movie dramedy Paramount Photos Kids & Family Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Tomatazos Christmas Nominations Spike crime drama science fiction TV Land Musical X-Men medical drama TCA Nat Geo BET Disney Channel The CW Bravo docudrama DirecTV VH1 Esquire discovery GLAAD technology E! Reality Universal Britbox TIFF DC Comics Winter TV serial killer CNN Schedule golden globes Grammys war Mindy Kaling Food Network Cartoon Network Mystery Fantasy ESPN Rocky Trailer Warner Bros. Rock CBS All Access Marvel