David Cross Defends Alvin and the Chipmunks Role

Give the guy a break, he just wanted a hula hoop.

by | January 2, 2008 | Comments

Critics, bloggers, movie website readers — pretty much
anybody who knows their way around a keyboard have voiced their "concern" for
and the Chipmunks
. (Though with $150 million in the bank after only
three weeks, the rodents are doing well with the average man on the street and
his family.) But enough is enough, says
, and he’s countering with a lengthy tirade of his own.

Cross, who plays a sleazeball record exec in the movie,
writes on the Bob and David site:

"I am not stupid nor unobservant. I knew going into this
movie that I would be eating a lot of delicious s–t for it. Usually I wouldn’t
give a s–t about what everyone’s feelings are about it, but I wasn’t prepared
for the level, or amount I should say, of vitriol that’s been flung about like
so much monkey poo."

Goaded into action after remarks from fellow comedian
, Cross presents four-and-a-half reasons why he took the role and why
some criticisms are out of place:

Mitigating Factor #1: The movie wasn’t made for adults.
"I have not seen the movie so I can’t really comment to whether it’s an
‘evil’ or ‘dangerous’ ‘piece of s–t’ or not. The reason I haven’t seen the
movie is because I am not eight years old. I am an adult and don’t see
children’s movies."

#2: This is much ado about nothing. "It’s a waste of
time and energy. I choose to care about other things that I believe are worth
the investment of that kind of outrage, disappointment, and sense of urgency."

#3: Work time is fun time. "Up to working on ‘Alvin’
I had not worked in six (SIX!) months. That is an eternity if you’re an actor.
Think about not working for two months with no hope of anything on the horizon.
Now triple that."

#4: Stuff requires money. "If I wanted that cottage
I would have to pay him money. Sigh. So I used my ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’
money to pay for the down payment. Seriously, I totally did."

And just when you think this might be only studio
sycophancy, Cross brings the pain:

#4a. He did the most he could with the part. "They
could have offered the part to
Jim Breuer
, but then they wouldn’t be able to balance out the empty void that
Jason Lee
brings to the film.”

Source: Bob and