Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: Soggy "Nacho," Aimless "Drift," Untidy "House"

by | June 15, 2006 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got wrestlers ("Nacho Libre"), Tokyo drifters ("The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift"), time-delayed lovers ("The Lake House"), and lasagna-loving felines ("Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties"). What do the critics have to say?

I’m sure I speak for much of humanity when I say that each time I see Jack Black in a wrestling outfit on the posters for "Nacho Libre," I chuckle to myself. Heartily. The critics, who’ve actually seen the movie, have been a little less charitable. Black stars as a man who becomes a wrestler to raise money for orphans who live in the monastery where he grew up. While some critics say the film has its share of laughs, others say the sophomore effort of Jared ("Napoleon Dynamite") Hess is the very definition of sophomoric. At 49 percent on the Tomatometer, this "Nacho" is only sort of tasty. And it’s nowhere near "Dynamite" (71 percent).


"Nacho Libre:" Let’s get ready to rumble!

In the third installment of the "Fast and the Furious" franchise, a new collection of thrill seekers head to Japan to engage in "drifting," that exciting brand of motorsport that values oversteering. Let’s be honest: Nobody is going to this one for anything but action, nifty driving, and other assorted cheap thrills (this ain’t "Two-Lane Blacktop"). And even utilizing those limited criteria, "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" only attains a modest amount of success. The critics say that while the driving sequences are reasonably cool, the characters are about as well-crafted as a pinewood-derby cart that ends up in a ditch. It’s currently at 41 percent on the Tomatometer, trailing the original "F&F" (at 50 percent).


"Tokyo Drift": Faster and furious to an even greater degree

There are a lot of reasons relationships don’t work out. Sometimes couples live too far apart, or have vastly different schedules. But what about a couple communicating across a two-year time difference — can this relationship be saved? Unfortunately for "The Lake House," starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, the answer appears to be no. The critics say the film’s premise (it’s a remake of the 2002 Korean film "Il Mare") is not necessarily a bad idea, but the execution is off; the film is neither effective as a romance or as a metaphysical puzzle. At 32 percent on the Tomatometer, this "House" looks like a fixer-upper. And how does it compare with "Speed," the last Reeves/Bullock collabo? Do you even need to ask?


"I should probably tell you that I’m taking the bus because I had my driver’s license revoked."

The scribes’ response to "Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties" has prompted Critical Consensus to paraphrase from Charles Dickens‘ "A Tale of Two Cities": "[The critics] looked at [Garfield] sideways with a stronger concentration of keenness, closeness, and dislike, than was comportable with its wearer’s assumption of indifference." The operative words here are "indifference" and "dislike," as critics say "Garfield" wastes a talented voice cast (Bill Murray, Bob Hoskins, Tim Curry) in a dull, relatively laugh-free plot. At 17 percent on the Tomatometer, the scribes have one thing to say: Bad "Kitties!" (By the way, the original was at 13 percent.)


"Garfield:" Let’s get ready to rumble… again!

Also this week, in limited release: "Wordplay," a doc about New York Times crossword puzzle editor Will Shortz, is at 89 percent; G.W. Pabst‘s silent classic "Pandora’s Box," starring the staggeringly beautiful Louise Brooks, is at 83 percent; the gritty Brazilian love triangle "Lower City" is at 57 percent; the gay cult-fave comic strip adaptation "The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green" is at 33 percent; and Kevin Bacon‘s second directorial effort, "Loverboy," is at 14 percent.

Movies with the Words "Fast" and "Furious" in their titles:
———————————————————————–
38% — 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
50% — The Fast and the Furious (2001)
N/A — The Fast and the Furious (1954)

Recent Jack Black Movies:
———————————
84% — King Kong (2005)
6% — Envy (2004)
35% — Shark Tale (2004)
90% — School of Rock (2003)
49% — Orange County (2002)

Tag Cloud

latino nature Comedy Shudder Grammys DC Comics Esquire Fox News AMC Plus name the review stoner spinoff crime high school football Nominations news 21st Century Fox 79th Golden Globes Awards deadpool Video Games genre Fantasy Comic-Con@Home 2021 nbcuniversal Interview 90s halloween tv Animation Paramount Plus Epix laika YouTube Red Paramount harry potter Disney+ Disney Plus Warner Bros. canceled TV shows VOD superman Elton John TCA Winter 2020 razzies vampires live event X-Men directors Fargo rom-coms FXX Instagram Live rotten Britbox zero dark thirty DirecTV stop motion miniseries cancelled Apple TV Plus blockbusters concert Bravo romantic comedy CMT Family Opinion Nat Geo singing competition Western rt archives HBO Go king arthur Exclusive Video Rocketman streaming movies royal family crossover game show TNT El Rey venice Turner TLC 73rd Emmy Awards 72 Emmy Awards transformers casting mob Set visit Hulu rt labs critics edition Pacific Islander Wes Anderson joker documentaries scorecard jamie lee curtis President Hallmark RT21 Marvel Studios The CW Netflix Christmas movies The Arrangement Tubi Fox Searchlight superhero slashers MSNBC documentary Rocky ABC australia Television Academy black comedy E! crime drama Nickelodeon travel new zealand Funimation chucky strong female leads Black History Month new york LGBTQ Hear Us Out tv talk hollywood Sundance Now christmas movies Comics on TV suspense Spectrum Originals know your critic Starz olympics MTV FX The Purge biopic golden globe awards Pop CNN aliens IMDb TV First Reviews Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Spring TV Alien SXSW Musicals 007 vs. thriller Captain marvel comic book movies 2017 Awards Tour Disney streaming service Character Guide dexter Reality Competition serial killer Ellie Kemper aapi wonder woman Legendary die hard reviews Adult Swim First Look Red Carpet Broadway quibi TIFF batman Film Festival Amazon Prime Universal critics Stephen King boxing Columbia Pictures MCU worst golden globes Comedy Central Avengers adaptation Paramount Network richard e. Grant BBC America docuseries Schedule Black Mirror fast and furious anime movies Emmys GoT Tarantino free movies remakes Mary poppins VICE green book ghosts sequels Holiday 99% mission: impossible HBO Max 93rd Oscars Music franchise japanese cancelled television Pop TV Amazon DC Universe Lifetime Christmas movies twilight TV renewals Best and Worst Star Wars kong technology PaleyFest Trivia BET cooking foreign History Polls and Games mutant telelvision Marvel obituary Rock WGN true crime debate Image Comics worst movies Premiere Dates Cartoon Network Syfy french Spike spanish language mockumentary Chernobyl Anna Paquin spy thriller Disney Plus ratings Horror italian Martial Arts YouTube Premium space legend ViacomCBS cancelled TV series Photos live action marvel cinematic universe ESPN dragons parents talk show Star Trek Sneak Peek Summer hist TV Land cinemax Pixar E3 Box Office IFC discovery Sundance cats Television Critics Association comics Creative Arts Emmys TBS prank Binge Guide basketball Walt Disney Pictures political drama Women's History Month saw video TV comedies Universal Pictures japan Holidays Shondaland cancelled TV shows dc Year in Review social media trophy Hallmark Christmas movies finale kaiju OWN AMC Mystery 20th Century Fox films dceu Baby Yoda popular classics medical drama Academy Awards DGA fresh SDCC 2020 American Society of Cinematographers Sundance TV scene in color war Cannes Discovery Channel toronto critic resources doctor who HFPA Sci-Fi Vudu dark video on demand composers boxoffice Marvel Television TCA revenge GIFs RT History Disney 2016 Mary Poppins Returns diversity new star wars movies Thanksgiving Tomatazos BET Awards 71st Emmy Awards Watching Series Super Bowl award winner comiccon The Witch VH1 Kids & Family ID based on movie Writers Guild of America witnail spider-verse Winter TV ABC Family spider-man sopranos PBS universal monsters marvel comics CBS Cosplay Marathons reboot Action children's TV YA cults Tokyo Olympics Emmy Nominations period drama 2021 Reality series Superheroes anthology Teen Biopics gangster animated south america The Academy breaking bad Logo monster movies unscripted theme song Neflix rt labs versus Country FOX YouTube Toys screen actors guild ITV satire psychological thriller halloween teaser Apple APB Quiz sag awards trailers 4/20 comic books game of thrones godzilla romance Travel Channel A&E Peacock hidden camera target historical drama Amazon Studios A24 spanish crime thriller 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards PlayStation Crackle black NYCC The Walking Dead jurassic park Lionsgate international IFC Films pirates of the caribbean nfl Apple TV+ spain National Geographic DC streaming service GLAAD disaster Countdown 2018 supernatural 1990s Prime Video HBO BAFTA toy story asian-american lord of the rings sports Election TV movies Song of Ice and Fire LGBT Mindy Kaling book adaptation werewolf OneApp criterion Pirates Netflix blaxploitation cops Fall TV zombie Heroines heist movie streaming Amazon Prime Video renewed TV shows ABC Signature canceled biography TV One Hollywood Foreign Press Association Brie Larson 2015 Tags: Comedy FX on Hulu docudrama police drama science fiction 45 festival dogs child's play emmy awards Arrowverse book TruTV james bond Certified Fresh what to watch natural history Christmas Crunchyroll robots Musical USA Network Disney Channel independent rotten movies we love Pride Month USA Drama dramedy Winners indie TCA Awards king kong feel good politics dreamworks television cars CW Seed binge leaderboard TCM Comic Book CBS All Access Dark Horse Comics a nightmare on elm street comic book movie posters Trophy Talk kids action-comedy Mudbound scary Food Network sequel slasher NBA Ghostbusters New York Comic Con Extras SundanceTV blockbuster art house best comic facebook Freeform Mary Tyler Moore Superheroe psycho 24 frames screenings indiana jones Showtime 2019 archives young adult Awards Trailer hispanic heritage month elevated horror TCA 2017 Lifetime Valentine's Day Acorn TV hispanic Infographic festivals NBC See It Skip It justice league zombies Sony Pictures Classic Film Film Calendar Rom-Com movie cartoon women Ovation The Walt Disney Company mcc Masterpiece WarnerMedia Oscars Endgame San Diego Comic-Con adventure BBC One adenture scary movies Podcast sitcom Lucasfilm all-time BBC Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Pet Sematary stand-up comedy Tumblr Turner Classic Movies