Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: Soggy "Nacho," Aimless "Drift," Untidy "House"

by | June 15, 2006 | Comments

This week at the movies, we’ve got wrestlers ("Nacho Libre"), Tokyo drifters ("The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift"), time-delayed lovers ("The Lake House"), and lasagna-loving felines ("Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties"). What do the critics have to say?

I’m sure I speak for much of humanity when I say that each time I see Jack Black in a wrestling outfit on the posters for "Nacho Libre," I chuckle to myself. Heartily. The critics, who’ve actually seen the movie, have been a little less charitable. Black stars as a man who becomes a wrestler to raise money for orphans who live in the monastery where he grew up. While some critics say the film has its share of laughs, others say the sophomore effort of Jared ("Napoleon Dynamite") Hess is the very definition of sophomoric. At 49 percent on the Tomatometer, this "Nacho" is only sort of tasty. And it’s nowhere near "Dynamite" (71 percent).


"Nacho Libre:" Let’s get ready to rumble!

In the third installment of the "Fast and the Furious" franchise, a new collection of thrill seekers head to Japan to engage in "drifting," that exciting brand of motorsport that values oversteering. Let’s be honest: Nobody is going to this one for anything but action, nifty driving, and other assorted cheap thrills (this ain’t "Two-Lane Blacktop"). And even utilizing those limited criteria, "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" only attains a modest amount of success. The critics say that while the driving sequences are reasonably cool, the characters are about as well-crafted as a pinewood-derby cart that ends up in a ditch. It’s currently at 41 percent on the Tomatometer, trailing the original "F&F" (at 50 percent).


"Tokyo Drift": Faster and furious to an even greater degree

There are a lot of reasons relationships don’t work out. Sometimes couples live too far apart, or have vastly different schedules. But what about a couple communicating across a two-year time difference — can this relationship be saved? Unfortunately for "The Lake House," starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, the answer appears to be no. The critics say the film’s premise (it’s a remake of the 2002 Korean film "Il Mare") is not necessarily a bad idea, but the execution is off; the film is neither effective as a romance or as a metaphysical puzzle. At 32 percent on the Tomatometer, this "House" looks like a fixer-upper. And how does it compare with "Speed," the last Reeves/Bullock collabo? Do you even need to ask?


"I should probably tell you that I’m taking the bus because I had my driver’s license revoked."

The scribes’ response to "Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties" has prompted Critical Consensus to paraphrase from Charles Dickens‘ "A Tale of Two Cities": "[The critics] looked at [Garfield] sideways with a stronger concentration of keenness, closeness, and dislike, than was comportable with its wearer’s assumption of indifference." The operative words here are "indifference" and "dislike," as critics say "Garfield" wastes a talented voice cast (Bill Murray, Bob Hoskins, Tim Curry) in a dull, relatively laugh-free plot. At 17 percent on the Tomatometer, the scribes have one thing to say: Bad "Kitties!" (By the way, the original was at 13 percent.)


"Garfield:" Let’s get ready to rumble… again!

Also this week, in limited release: "Wordplay," a doc about New York Times crossword puzzle editor Will Shortz, is at 89 percent; G.W. Pabst‘s silent classic "Pandora’s Box," starring the staggeringly beautiful Louise Brooks, is at 83 percent; the gritty Brazilian love triangle "Lower City" is at 57 percent; the gay cult-fave comic strip adaptation "The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green" is at 33 percent; and Kevin Bacon‘s second directorial effort, "Loverboy," is at 14 percent.

Movies with the Words "Fast" and "Furious" in their titles:
———————————————————————–
38% — 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
50% — The Fast and the Furious (2001)
N/A — The Fast and the Furious (1954)

Recent Jack Black Movies:
———————————
84% — King Kong (2005)
6% — Envy (2004)
35% — Shark Tale (2004)
90% — School of Rock (2003)
49% — Orange County (2002)

Tag Cloud

cancelled IFC Star Trek CBS All Access First Look DC Universe Pet Sematary boxoffice Year in Review free movies renewed TV shows Pirates TV Land 2015 Apple Comedy blockbuster Spectrum Originals game show Fox News YouTube crossover mockumentary Women's History Month E3 TLC adaptation serial killer 007 Super Bowl Premiere Dates PaleyFest Certified Fresh Nat Geo TCM cooking Sci-Fi Amazon Prime ABC The Witch what to watch strong female leads A&E Mystery Peacock Awards Tour Mary Tyler Moore 20th Century Fox Stephen King Western Pop comic Netflix Christmas movies OWN Disney Plus cancelled television Shondaland sitcom X-Men CMT politics political drama true crime GIFs nature SDCC technology blaxploitation Tarantino zombies Schedule spy thriller spain RT21 Extras DirecTV Toys Teen National Geographic comiccon Epix doctor who festivals romantic comedy joker zombie HBO Max The Purge dc Quiz cats Summer vampires Spring TV Shudder FXX Disney 2017 hist Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt rotten movies we love Spike Lucasfilm The Arrangement Comics on TV TIFF Captain marvel facebook biography jamie lee curtis medical drama See It Skip It Chernobyl DC streaming service Sundance Now tv talk kids indie Horror dceu ratings video Watching Series Tumblr finale screenings The CW breaking bad Star Wars miniseries NBC FOX justice league Pride Month werewolf historical drama Mudbound cults YouTube Red Amazon Podcast Writers Guild of America Film Festival TNT Adult Swim Rocky Syfy GoT Arrowverse book MTV sequel movies Holidays Walt Disney Pictures unscripted American Society of Cinematographers award winner Family GLAAD 45 21st Century Fox TCA 2017 Turner Classic Movies Apple TV+ ESPN anthology First Reviews Musicals 2019 foreign New York Comic Con Tomatazos Hallmark Christmas movies Universal Disney streaming service Netflix Marathons 2016 Anna Paquin diversity RT History MCU Mindy Kaling Masterpiece spanish language Crunchyroll President mutant Film Binge Guide Marvel Television richard e. Grant HBO animated Brie Larson Cosplay Esquire talk show period drama theme song Crackle slashers Superheroe TV renewals Superheroes USA Network Turner Set visit docudrama television Trivia Action Creative Arts Emmys south america psychological thriller latino Starz crime CBS YouTube Premium elevated horror Apple TV Plus discovery dramedy Hulu natural history Countdown cops teaser Lionsgate Lifetime Mary Poppins Returns Marvel transformers Disney+ Disney Plus Kids & Family Food Network SundanceTV Nickelodeon Awards YA toy story Drama Lifetime Christmas movies hispanic crime drama Music Amazon Prime Video Hallmark game of thrones science fiction Rom-Com BBC Best and Worst crime thriller Showtime Opinion ITV Character Guide AMC composers Martial Arts Sundance E! Calendar A24 cartoon witnail harry potter casting Logo batman Britbox BET Christmas MSNBC Marvel Studios independent Trophy Talk Sony Pictures VICE DC Comics Country spider-man binge DGA adventure cancelled TV series ABC Family TCA LGBTQ Fantasy CW Seed Acorn TV WGN Musical streaming travel Freeform Dark Horse Comics supernatural Cartoon Network Video Games USA series Paramount Network cancelled TV shows social media robots revenge Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Paramount green book Oscars Red Carpet IFC Films spinoff Interview TV 2018 VH1 Ghostbusters Election romance police drama Bravo Black Mirror El Rey Pixar children's TV Biopics Polls and Games Disney Channel Sneak Peek Vudu CNN FX Animation Box Office Ovation space APB disaster stand-up comedy Thanksgiving canceled cars golden globes Song of Ice and Fire thriller Mary poppins SXSW 24 frames Valentine's Day halloween based on movie Winter TV cinemax The Walking Dead Rocketman TruTV Ellie Kemper war ghosts Television Academy psycho NYCC WarnerMedia singing competition PBS Classic Film canceled TV shows Emmy Nominations zero dark thirty LGBT Elton John Emmys San Diego Comic-Con Infographic Fall TV History Cannes Warner Bros. Columbia Pictures BBC America Reality Competition anime Comic Book aliens dragons Photos versus Nominations quibi Reality Winners TBS 71st Emmy Awards Comedy Central Rock sports Grammys Heroines Trailer