Parental Guidance: Insidious: Chapter 3, The SpongeBob Movie, and Jupiter Ascending

by | June 5, 2015 | Comments

NEW IN THEATERS

Insidious: Chapter 3

56%

Rating: PG-13, for violence, frightening images, some language and thematic elements. . > .

This is a really scary PG-13 horror movie. There’s no blood but the otherworldly predators — and their victims, wallowing in a sort of spiritual purgatory — are pretty gross and gnarly, and there is the constant threat of vicious haunting from tormented souls. The third film in the Insidious series is actually a prequel, which details how psychic Elise Rainier (Lin Shaye) became the formidable force we now know her to be. A teenage girl (Stefanie Scott) who thinks she’s been communicating with her deceased mother actually has invited a far more dangerous spirit into her world. Lots of physical injury and frightening imagery ensue until Elise takes on the case. I (and my fellow critics around me) jumped several times, and we’re grown people. I’d say that only kids around 12 or 13 would be able to handle this movie without being petrified and losing sleep.

NEW ON DVD

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge out of Water

81%

Rating: PG, for mild action and rude humor.

This second feature-length SpongeBob SquarePants movie is zippy and zany and colorful and everything you want if you’re a fan of the long-running Nickelodeon television series. This time, SpongeBob (voiced as always by Tom Kenny) and his friends must leave the watery safety of Bikini Bottom and travel to dry land to find the culprit who stole the secret formula for everyone’s favorite fast-food treat, the Krabby Patty. (Antonio Banderas appears in live-action sequences as a goofy, villainous pirate.) The pop culture references and subversive humor will go over kids’ heads. There are a few gross-out jokes but they’re harmless. I brought my 5-year-old son and one of his friends to see this and they had a blast — jumping up and down, laughing and dancing. It’s a good time for the whole family.

Jupiter Ascending

28%

Rating: PG-13, for some violence, sequences of sci-fi action, some suggestive content and partial nudity.

Mature tweens and young teens with a taste for sci-fi/fantasy might enjoy this long, noisy and totally nutty sci-fi opera from the writing-directing Wachowskis, Lana and Andy. Mila Kunis stars as a Chicago maid who learns she’s actually the queen of the universe. Channing Tatum plays the half-man, half-dog protector who zooms around on jet-powered boots to save her whenever she’s in trouble (which is often). Big, dangerous chases and battles ensue as various members of a royal galactic family try to manipulate and even kill Kunis’ character to seize the kingdom. The sheer volume and running time probably will make this prohibitive for a lot of younger viewers. It’s just an overwhelming experience. There’s also a bit of nudity in a bathtub scene.