Parental Guidance

Parental Guidance: Deadpool Ain't For Kids

by | February 12, 2016 | Comments

To those unfamiliar with the character, Deadpool may look like another harmless superhero movie, but as Christy explains, it is decidedly not for kids, so leave them at home. Meanwhile, there’s also a comedy sequel in theaters this week, as well as a James Bond movie and a dysfunctional family comedy on DVD. Read on for details.


NEW IN THEATERS

 

Deadpool (2016) 85%

Rating: R, for strong violence and language throughout, sexual content and graphic nudity.

OK, so we don’t usually talk about R-rated movies here in the Parental Guidance section. Usually, it’s pretty clear: If it’s an R, it’s an R. But your kids are probably familiar with the Deadpool character and they’re probably begging you to take them to see this. Resist. They may argue that they know Deadpool from previous incarnations, like the Lego Marvel Superheroes video game, and that he’s super funny and cute. Say: “No.” Deadpool is indeed super funny, and even cute at times. But it’s definitely not for kids. Marvel really went for it this time and delivered a hard-R movie based on one of its comic book characters. This is not your typical, PG-13 blockbuster violence here; this is graphic, with real blood and real stakes as the mercenary Deadpool (a hilarious Ryan Reynolds) learns to carve out his new identity and right wrongs. There’s also a ton of language, nudity and sexuality. Fine for teenagers. Everyone younger needs to wait (including my extremely bummed 6-year-old son).


Zoolander No. 2 (2016) 22%

Rating: PG-13, for crude and sexual content, a scene of exaggerated violence, and brief strong language.

This is the sequel to Zoolander, the 2001 comedy starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as idiotic male models and rivals. And it’s pretty much the exact same movie, only it’s crammed with even more pop culture references, celebrity cameos and jokes about the absurdity of the fashion world. This time, Derek Zoolander (Stiller) and Hansel (Wilson) find themselves reluctantly reteaming in Rome to walk the runway once more and maybe prevent a massive crime the diabolical designer Mugatu (Will Ferrell) is planning. Zoolander also reconnects with his son, Derek Jr. (Cyrus Arnold), a brilliant but chubby kid who’s been living in an orphanage. There’s a running gag involving Hansel’s propensity for orgies, and although we never see any actual sexual activity, it’s implied that he likes to get it on with men, women and animals. As the movie’s director, Stiller has amped-up the action of the story this time. Famous people (including Justin Bieber) are killed for laughs and there’s the climactic possibility of a bomb exploding in a lava pit. This is probably OK for mature pre-teens and older, but it’s also kinda terrible.


NEW ON DVD

 

Spectre (2015) 63%

Rating: PG-13, for intense sequences of action and violence, some disturbing images, sensuality and language.

Car chases, explosions, shootings (including a suicide), mid-air helicopter brawls and a truly punishing fistfight aboard a train — it’s all here, and more, in the 24th James Bond film (and the fourth starring Daniel Craig). One guy gets his eyes gouged out before having his neck snapped. The international intrigue and villainy this time, in case you’re curious: Bond must uncover who’s behind a shadowy organization known as Spectre, a syndicate of bad guys hell-bent on world domination. There’s also an intertwined plot involving the possibility of dismantling the double-0 program in favor of more high-tech surveillance tactics. It’s extremely violent, of course. And Bond gets to bed a couple of gorgeous women, of course. But it’s probably OK for mature tweens and older, especially if they’ve seen any previous Bond pictures.


Love the Coopers (2015) 18%

Rating: PG-13, for thematic elements, language and some sexuality.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, it’s your obligatory wacky Christmas comedy, complete with family dysfunction, shopping mall mishaps, an awkward dinner, and lots of reaction shots of an adorable dog. Matriarch Charlotte Cooper (Diane Keaton) just wants one last perfect Christmas before she and her husband, Sam (John Goodman), tell the family they’re separating after 40 years of marriage. But as it turns out from the various supporting characters’ subplots, everyone else’s life is just as much of a mess. There’s some randy and raunchy humor here (including old-lady flatulence) and a bit of language. Charlotte’s sister (Marisa Tomei) gets arrested for shoplifting. A teenage boy frequently makes out in public with his new girlfriend. The littlest girl comes up with a catch phrase that includes a vulgar word for penis. And the eldest member of the family (Alan Arkin) has a dramatic health scare. This is fine for kids around age 8 and older. I brought my 6-year-old son to the screening and he wasn’t scarred.

  • Mike20878

    When you say fine for teenagers, what do you think about 13 year-olds?

    • Miranda0921

      At that age (around 7th grade) they’ve more than likely have had sex-ed classes. My PoV would be talk to them about it beforehand as to what to expect (let them read for themselves about the sex scenes – http://www.kids-in-mind.com/d/deadpool.htm ) then let them see it.

      Would get the shock-factor of such stuff out of the way. When the hormones will really get revving not too long from now, they’ll hopefully be bored with boobies, and the like. Or at least not as ravenous about it.

  • Omar Mickelson

    I’d say if you’re 17, and your 18th birthday isn’t too far off, heck with it. But, if you’re a pre-teen, just wait for the TV edit.

    • Anthony D.

      You only need to be 17 to get into R-rated movies, not 18.

  • Rich K

    That’s too bad, because my 9 year son is GOING with us… HA HAHAHA

    • Anthony D.

      Can’t tell if you’re serious or not. If so, I’d love to hear how that experience turned out for you.

      • Rich K

        Anthony, my son did very well watching Deadpool. He wasn’t phased by the language, nudity or violence. As far as the crude comments, most went over his head. He laughed a lot as it was extremely humorous. He does play rather advanced video games on his PS3, like Batman Arkham Asylum and the Deadpool game, so he was sort of prepared. I was raised watching adult oriented films at this young of an age as my parents owned a video store and I watched what my older brother watched, so he has been raised the same way. I hope this helps. The movie was one of the best comic book adaptations to date in my opinion.

        • Zombeek Dragmire

          I didn’t see many films as a kid with a woman fucking a guy in the ass.
          I didn’t even know what being gay was until I was 10 and kids were being mean to each other on the play ground.

          Everyone is raised differently.
          The deadpool game is tame compared to the movie.

          • Josh Sandoval

            I guess he’s the kid that explains all the dirty stuff to other kids. But I think the good thing about being a kid is being naive,your basically stealing that. If I had a 12-13 yr I would let them watch maybe but 9 is just sad!

          • Rich K

            Yeah, Josh so sad to you and others who were raised to be ashamed of real world sexuality. All this censorship in this tight ass country is what is sad to me.

          • Jodi Cohn Kaplan

            as the mom of this child, let me chime in. we knew what we were getting into. my husband & i talked about it beforehand-the good & bad of taking him. we had discussions w/& w/o the child beforehand. my husband & i see lots of movies, so does our child. we know who he is & what he does & does not understand. he understands the comic book world better than most grown ups, isn’t afraid or scarred by comic book violence. he has no understanding of sex, sexual orientation & has grown up with fowl language, that he does not react to. a word is a word that doesn’t mean anything unless you give it power. so the dirty jokes go over his head, since he doesn’t understand sarcasm. the physical comedy he finds funny because he can see it, although half the time he doesnt understand it. that being said, every family is different & every child is different. we do not take him to horror films & some sci-fi films, as we know they’ll freak him out, as he was completely freaked out by the Purge trailer beforehand. He never once covered his eyes &/or hid during Deadpool. he happens to be at the sweet age where he was able to follow the story line but he’s also naive enough that he didn’t know what he was seeing during the holiday bedroom scene. i was wondering what he thought of the strip bar & he said, oh that’s in the video game. when i asked what he thought it was, he said oh the girls dance & wear Speedos. he didn’t giggle or anything, he has seen me with out a top, so it wasn’t taboo/weird/forbidden. he just doesn’t get it. had he been another year older, he would’ve understood more & we wouldn’t have been able to take him. i had a friend take her son who is 11 (2yrs older than ours) & asked what she & he thought (they view things the same way we do). he loved it, & is going back with his dad to see it since he was at work. they discuss sex, so there were no surprises. she was shocked when he got one of the jokes (ours did not get it at all, went over his head completely). i told my son that he was going to hear language & see things that he may not understand. and that anything he didn’t understand we would talk about afterwards. we didn’t steal his childhood. this generation unfortunately is growing up much quicker than ours ever did. as for the gay aspect Zombeek, my kid doesn’t understand what that means, this generation has grown up around it. we live in Austin & he’s sees it everyday without even realizing it. we were actually at a gay wedding last Sunday & it didn’t faze him at all. he didn’t even question it. if you don’t make something taboo, it’s not. he was told that under no circumstances was he allowed to go to school & discuss this with his friends, as we know that he is in the minority of kids his age seeing this. he knew there would be serious consequences if he did.

        • Charles Spratlin

          Dude seriously? for the love of fuck exercise some better judgement. no one under the age of 13 has any business seeing that movie, it sets a terrible fucking example

          • Rich K

            Yes, Charles, seriously. I’ll raise my child as I see fit and you raise yours as you see fit.

          • Charles Spratlin

            while you are free to do as you will, that doesn’t make it a good idea.

          • Rich K

            …and bantering with you is not a good idea either, but I continue to do it. To each their own, whether good or bad. Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged

          • Charles Spratlin

            not so much bantering as trying to hide, frankly, bad parenting. And while it is written so, the almighty did give us special apes the right to do as we see fit. thus i judge away

  • Brad Williams

    if I had teenage-age children i wouldn’t take them nor openly allow it but I wouldn’t ground them if they snuck into it with their friends. It’s a beautiful love story of damaged souls with a huge pandora’s box allegory that is very poignant in our current times.

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