Critics Consensus

Critical Consensus: "Smokin'" Not Hot, "Release" Hardly A Catch, "Epic" and "Chocolate" Not Screened

by | January 25, 2007 | Comments

The first month of 2007 wraps up with four eclectic releases, featuring hitmen ("Smokin’ Aces", starring Ryan Reynolds, Jeremy Piven, and a million other hip thespians), sad people ("Catch and Release", starring Jennifer Garner and a hatless Kevin Smith), werewolves ("Blood and Chocolate" with Agnes Bruckner), and the almighty Crispin Glover ("Epic Movie"). What do the critics have to say?

In "Smokin’ Aces," Jeremy Piven plays a soon-to-be government snitch, leading a cavalcade of seedy characters who’ve been sent in to kill, or save him. Or maybe just settle with killing each other. This overstuffed movie features a huge list of cool people doing cool action scenes, but fails to give anybody any semblence of identity. It’s one vapid, bloody sequence after another, though critics are distressed over how long the movie takes to set up the convulted plot and action. At 28 percent Tomatometer, "Aces" may be smokin’, but it’s not on fire.

"All we need now is the girl and a pizza place."

Kevin Smith is certainly full of surprises. First the rumor he’ll do a scary flick, and now his apperance in "Catch and Release", a gooey romantic dramadey starring Jennifer Garner as a woman coping with a close death. Kevin Smith is the goofy yet lovable lug, the comic relief in a movie where everyone plays some kind of stock character. It’s a shallow, contrived treatment of a serious subject and with 24 percent on the Tomatometer, "Catch and Release" isn’t reeling in the critcs.

Worst. Survivor. Ever.

We’re going to have you work overtime for this week’s Guess That Tomatometer game. "Epic Movie," which somehow confuses Paris Hilton and "Borat" as part of the genre, is the latest of those spoof movies and the latest movie to not be critic screened.

"I neither deny nor confirm that the snozberries taste like snozberries."

Whenever I hear "Blood and Chocolate", it makes me think Elvis Costello, not babes and werewolves. Maybe the title’s signifcance is explained somewhere in the movie, but it’s hard to tell right now since "Blood and Chocolate" also isn’t being screened for critics. Guess those Tomatometers.

This movie bites.

Speaking of guessing Tomatometers, congratulations to mizzoucritic for coming closest last week to guessing the Tomatometer of "The Hitcher."

Also opening this week in limited release: "Seraphim Falls", a violent Western starring Liam Neeson and Pierce Brosnan, at 54 percent.

Tag Cloud

rt archives james bond harry potter streaming WarnerMedia DirecTV Travel Channel medical drama Video Games Pixar SXSW Instagram Live Star Trek 2015 Peacock dramedy YouTube Red docuseries Quiz indie transformers MSNBC Shondaland ratings heist movie Film Tubi doctor who X-Men canceled movies The Purge mutant PlayStation dceu Walt Disney Pictures anthology rt labs BBC America IMDb TV 2016 comic adenture BBC One Ovation marvel comics godzilla Mystery Interview scary movies Awards Tour theme song CW Seed Musicals free movies Neflix 2017 royal family biopic award winner ID diversity posters Sundance archives binge Prime Video Calendar basketball 2020 science fiction Alien Hallmark Christmas movies Summer Chilling Adventures of Sabrina parents true crime OneApp razzies BET GoT President Extras trophy twilight NYCC politics lord of the rings boxoffice Disney+ Disney Plus Apple TV Plus Crackle Oscars TIFF war Animation Song of Ice and Fire ViacomCBS Lionsgate TV Land toronto spanish language fresh Stephen King feel good rom-coms Lifetime crime drama supernatural Black Mirror ABC Family Binge Guide Heroines cults sitcom screenings romance cooking Music zombie scene in color Sundance Now tv talk streaming movies Columbia Pictures adventure Christmas Marvel Studios blaxploitation Fox Searchlight crossover spy thriller serial killer criterion Star Wars gangster Avengers docudrama spain Winter TV San Diego Comic-Con renewed TV shows Horror IFC Films Marathons Cannes USA Network Apple TV+ all-time adaptation art house dogs dc BAFTA ITV Captain marvel political drama scorecard FX on Hulu 45 Mary Poppins Returns golden globes target historical drama The Walking Dead christmas movies USA WGN movie women A24 robots Nickelodeon mission: impossible superhero cops First Look Black History Month name the review thriller Adult Swim Awards VOD boxing prank Tarantino RT History a nightmare on elm street Best and Worst asian-american Pirates satire stand-up comedy composers young adult Shudder Universal canceled TV shows HBO Go Trivia MCU Election romantic comedy facebook Universal Pictures Winners green book Disney Channel 2018 CMT blockbusters TNT Thanksgiving concert PaleyFest Fall TV remakes stop motion Kids & Family Television Academy rotten versus Hallmark aapi universal monsters jurassic park news comics See It Skip It biography Funimation ABC Signature game of thrones trailers new zealand Mindy Kaling dark spanish Trailer crime thriller 21st Century Fox vampires fast and furious french Logo Pop TV finale Wes Anderson FOX social media 71st Emmy Awards SDCC Rock Epix Box Office AMC Plus DC Comics Mary poppins richard e. Grant Baby Yoda breaking bad aliens singing competition reviews Pet Sematary TCA Winter 2020 MTV Vudu Anna Paquin space Podcast unscripted Freeform toy story National Geographic worst Academy Awards Creative Arts Emmys Ghostbusters Mudbound italian kids Superheroes blockbuster leaderboard Comedy nbcuniversal Comics on TV TLC Warner Bros. Turner Emmy Nominations Teen Holiday Hulu TV renewals DGA Paramount Network worst movies Cartoon Network olympics best sequels Opinion discovery 99% halloween Valentine's Day LGBTQ Amazon Prime Video scary Family mockumentary FX Apple cancelled television marvel cinematic universe 93rd Oscars Tomatazos Pop ABC 2021 latino mcc Exclusive Video 007 revenge die hard slasher natural history Year in Review based on movie period drama E! comic books Photos reboot book adaptation live event Country Sneak Peek 79th Golden Globes Awards Paramount genre spinoff high school know your critic SundanceTV TV One video on demand black comedy Fargo TCA 2017 Legendary Amazon Studios Marvel Television live action ghosts monster movies 1990s Endgame Netflix TBS Cosplay comic book movies TCM police drama Rocketman New York Comic Con Certified Fresh Crunchyroll Comedy Central Trophy Talk festivals LGBT video sag awards TV El Rey CNN hollywood hidden camera dreamworks classics Classic Film superman kong The Academy talk show festival cinemax casting obituary DC Universe nature Fox News comic book movie Comic-Con@Home 2021 FXX foreign YouTube Hollywood Foreign Press Association OWN action-comedy Infographic miniseries spider-verse Character Guide what to watch teaser zombies Discovery Channel chucky comiccon Esquire comedies japanese wonder woman HBO PBS Biopics 20th Century Fox ESPN GLAAD Acorn TV Film Festival HFPA Musical TV movies hist Polls and Games cats japan disaster suspense psycho TCA American Society of Cinematographers critic resources nfl king kong Elton John animated The Walt Disney Company Women's History Month Amazon Prime Action First Reviews strong female leads Arrowverse kaiju australia Premiere Dates VH1 Lucasfilm Western Rocky YouTube Premium psychological thriller Schedule rotten movies we love slashers sopranos cartoon emmy awards 90s Grammys cancelled Masterpiece crime 73rd Emmy Awards GIFs Emmys telelvision hispanic heritage month BET Awards Super Bowl documentary The Arrangement Fantasy Brie Larson Mary Tyler Moore The CW Showtime golden globe awards E3 Writers Guild of America Starz Disney Plus Chernobyl Tags: Comedy series HBO Max Sci-Fi witnail Nominations anime Spectrum Originals Martial Arts popular Amazon 72 Emmy Awards History dragons Reality Competition The Witch vs. child's play Sundance TV indiana jones Dark Horse Comics Tumblr sports NBC pirates of the caribbean king arthur Bravo travel screen actors guild Tokyo Olympics legend quibi Marvel Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt cancelled TV series franchise A&E dexter Comic Book cars Nat Geo television 4/20 CBS films Paramount Plus Spring TV laika Britbox Pride Month Superheroe debate RT21 black venice Syfy book TCA Awards Red Carpet Holidays Drama 78th Annual Golden Globe Awards DC streaming service international Netflix Christmas movies deadpool APB 24 frames 2019 spider-man cancelled TV shows new york rt labs critics edition BBC Food Network Pacific Islander Sony Pictures saw new star wars movies Reality stoner joker hispanic elevated horror TruTV jamie lee curtis halloween tv south america Ellie Kemper documentaries mob AMC critics directors CBS All Access Turner Classic Movies werewolf Rom-Com IFC independent batman Toys Image Comics YA Watching Series Countdown Hear Us Out VICE sequel technology Television Critics Association Lifetime Christmas movies NBA football Set visit Disney streaming service justice league zero dark thirty game show Spike Broadway Disney children's TV