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5 Reasons to Love Michael Bolton's Big, Sexy Valentine's Day Special

Think you know the soft-rock singer? His new Netflix special will give you a hilarious (and possibly disturbing) new perspective

by | February 7, 2017 | Comments

Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (Brandon Hickman/Netflix)

If you thought A Very Murray Christmas was weird, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special just premiered on Netflix, and it makes Bill Murray‘s 2015 Christmas special look positively normal by comparison. Adult contemporary–pop singer Michael Bolton has long been game to take a few shots at his own public image, and his V-D special is super funny and a huge treat for music lovers.

Here are some of top reasons to watch:


1. Excellent Musical Moments

Michael Bolton, Will Forte in Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (Brandon Hickman/Netflix)

Even if Bolton isn’t your favorite singer, there is no doubt the dude can still belt it out at age 63.

In the Netflix special, Bolton takes on everything from Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” to Ray Charles’ “I Got a Woman” to Lonely Island’s “Jack Sparrow” song. Here he is singing with guest Will Forte.


2. Peak ’90s Bolton

 And lest you worry it’s all covers, stay tuned for the latter half of the special, when both “When a Man Loves a Woman” and “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?” make an appearance.

The special calls it “peak ’90s Bolton,” and it’s spectacular.


3. Raunchy — But Hilarious — Guest Stars

Sarah Silverman in Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (Brandon Hickman/Netflix)
The plot of the special is that Santa Claus needs Bolton to save Christmas. There’s an abundance of elves who are overproducing toys; therefore he needs Bolton to make a Valentine’s Day special “so sexy that people around the world will be compelled to make love, and 10 months from now there will be 75,000 new babies, and Christmas will be saved.”

In Bolton’s efforts to be sexy, his “orgy” of guest stars sometimes get a little too sexy.

(Thanks, Sarah Silverman and Randall Park — that was terrifying.)


4. Bizarre — But Hilarious — Guest Stars

Andy Samberg in Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (Brandon Hickman/Netflix)

Chris Parnell drops by as a doctor who specializes in “erotic simulations” — which gets real weird, real quick.

And then Andy Samberg (pictured) plays Kenny G, who initiates a Dueling Banjos situation with Bolton.

Michael Sheen is an abusive, chain-smoking choreographer, who screams at Bolton while trying to teach him the dance moves to “Old Time Rock and Roll.”

Eric André is “Baby Archer,” a guy who wrote his own version of “The Cupid Shuffle” (appropriately titled “The Kupid Shufle”), in a performance that makes it seem like André may actually have had a stroke at one point. He also is very excited about Michael Bolton’s balls.

Maya Rudolph in Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (Brandon Hickman/Netflix)

And Maya Rudolph sings a song entirely about key changes that changes keys more times than you can count. It’s a seriously impressive display of vocal abilities on the part of the Saturday Night Live alum.


5. Potential for More

Bolton’s insane, but fun special argues for more holiday treats from Netflix. Here’s hoping the streaming giant keeps this tradition alive and gifts subscribers with specials for many holidays to come.

Who would you like to like to see host a Netflix holiday special? Tell us in the comments!

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