In a sane and just universe, any actor who gets his first big break starring opposite a talking car would be able to take comfort in the knowledge that his career can only get better, and that his most embarrassing professional moments are safely behind him.
In our universe, however, we are obligated to report the news that David Hasselhoff has agreed to star in Anaconda 3: The Offspring and the yet-to-be-subtitled Anaconda 4. The sequels will be filmed back-to-back in the anaconda capital of the world — Romania — and they will premiere on the Sci Fi Channel, where the definition of “science fiction” has apparently been expanded to include “movies whose very existence sounds painfully implausible.” Moviehole has the details:
Yep, David Hasselhoff’s on river-watch for the Don E. Fauntleroy (“Urban Justice”; cinematographer on “Jeepers Creepers 2“) directed sequels — both filming back to back. He’s joined by Crystal Allen (“Maid in Manhattan“), John Rhys Davies (“Lord of the Rings”) and Zoltan Butuc (“Funny Money“).
Ol’ fluffy chest plays a mercenary-for-hire who accepts a mission from a billionaire to capture a dangerous snake that could possibly help cure a terminal illness. I assume the rest of the bunch play, well, food?