"Mission" Unsuccessful; Hackers Rig Poll In Favor of Tom Cruise

by | April 18, 2006 | Comments

A recent Parade.com poll found that 84 percent of responders blamed the media for Tom Cruise‘s year of bad press; suspicious pollsters investigated and found the majority of votes came from the same 10 computers.

Thanks to Page Six, the cover has been blown off this Tom Cruise polling scandal. Parade publicist Alexis Collado shared the following report with them:

"We at Parade found this a little bit fishy, so we did some investigating. We found out more than 14,000 (of the 18,000-plus votes) that came in were cast from only 10 computers! One computer was responsible for nearly 8,400 votes alone, all blaming the media for Tom’s troubles."

Mayday, mayday! Bot Covers Are Blown!

Parade also speculates that the sinister people behind this plot used bots to generate thousands of positive votes in the Cruise poll. Thanks to their investigation, we know that most of America blames Cruise himself, and not the press, for nearly a year of couch-jumping, psychiatry-rejecting, practical joke-hating, Shields-fighting, quiet-birthing, Super Adventure Club-inspiring, thetan-loving fun.

Cruise will be seen next saving the world from Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Mission: Impossible III," out May 5, 2006.

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